I'm Still Not Comfortable As A Mother

05/13/2013 03:28pm ET

Since suffering through that impossibly difficult first year with a challenging baby, I have never really allowed myself to get into a groove as a mother. This isn’t a sob story about how kids constantly change and ruin your perfectly laid plans. I gave up those expectations years ago. I have learned to really go with the flow in practice. Yet in my mind, I find myself always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Four years and two kids later -- despite many more good days than bad -- I constantly wonder “when is it going to be like that again?”