I will admit that I have a bit of an identity crisis when it comes to being Jewish. I was born into a conservative Jewish family. My dad grew up orthodox in Baltimore, and my mom, Conservadox in North Carolina. So when my sister and I were born, they decided to meet in the middle. I grew up in a predominantly Jewish town, went to Hebrew school and Hebrew high school, was a USY-er, got bat mitzvah-ed, grew up kosher, went to shul on some Saturday's and high holidays and had Shabbat dinner on Friday's. Judaism was an important part of our family's life.
I struggled with how I fit into it all, and not really feeling like I fit into any of it. In fact, I could not identify with Judaism to the point where most of my friends, even to this day, are mostly non-Jewish. I like surrounding myself with different personalities, cultures, religions and faces. I feel like it makes me a better and more well-rounded person.
Ironically, in my search for people unlike me, I found myself enjoying and identifying with my Jewish heritage more than I ever did before. So many of the people I met and befriended had either never met a Jewish person before in their life, or else there were two Jewish people in their high school/they once dated a Jewish guy and felt they understood the culture. I met people who consider themselves honorary Jews or part of the tribe (i.e., their father was Jewish). As I started meeting these people and they found out I was Jewish, they were fascinated by it. Questions started pouring in. I started feeling like I was in a fishbowl, this odd creature on display. In fact, I have friends who still call me "the most Jewish person they know" -- which I think is hilarious, given I have some Jewish friends who are more into the religion and culture than I am, I have never been to Israel, I do not keep kosher anymore, I only sometimes go to shul on the high holidays (mostly if I am with my parents) and do not belong to any Jewish youth or any shul of any kind.
But despite some of them being just really odd (like a cab driver who once went completely off the rails at me about specifically orthodox Jews having sex and then preceded to ask for my number when I got out of the cab), a lot of the curiosity made me just want to research and learn more about Judaism for myself. I started missing the big tables filled with traditional food and family around the major holidays. I missed the culture I was brought up in and the values I took away from it. This longing made me realize my family and I are getting older, and that I need to hold onto some of these traditions before I lose them completely.
Thus, I decided four years ago -- around the time that I first moved to New York City -- that I was going to combine two things: my love for having people with different life experiences and backgrounds around me, and the Jewish culture that I struggled for so long to identify with. I hosted a Rosh Hashana dinner for my friends.
It has been four years since I started hosting these Rosh Hashana dinners, and invitations to them have become email chains between up to about 40 people (and growing!). Not everyone can come and most people do not, but I generally get about 20-25 people every year.
I make my bubbie's (my mom's mom's) famous chicken matzah ball soup and my safta's (my dad's mom's) delicious mandel bread (a sort of Jewish biscotti). I make sure to have some brisket or some traditional meat for that holiday at the table. We have round loafs of bread, we had kugel one year (though to be honest, it was not the biggest hit on the planet with non-jews, especially those on a diet), some vegetables and apples and honey, of course.
However, I do not stop at just the traditional Rosh Hashana meal; I also ask people to bring something. Everyone has to bring something. If people can't cook, I ask them to bring wine. I'm always surprised at what people bring -- I even had someone bring something with bacon once and I have to admit, it was really good. Once, someone made their family's traditional brisket, which was a delicious combination of their Italian and Jewish heritage.
Once everyone comes into the apartment and squeezes in, I lead the prayer over the bread, the apples and the wine. We talk a little about what Rosh Hashana means and the idea behind it. Every year, I try to find a new theme for the dinner party surrounded around the idea of the holiday and find a new song to sing. It is great; I teach those who want to learn more while teaching myself.
I choose Rosh Hashana because it's the Jewish New Year, a celebration of the coming year, of celebrating life and of being excited for what is to come. So, why not celebrate the new year and life with those that make my life -- and more specifically me -- better?
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