As we careen, head-on, toward Jan. 20 like a locomotive with no brakes, the best tweet/meme I’ve seen that humorously captures the sheer dread the overwhelming majority of us are feeling re: our new President-elect, comes from Us Weekly contributor, Wendi Aarons. In which, she said:
“It’s like America’s amazing dad is leaving us and mom’s new perverted boyfriend just pulled up in his Trans-Am.”
That about sums it up for me. As Mr. National Embarrassment, himself, and his Legion of Doom prepare to take the helm and, by all accounts, proceed to steer us straight into an oncoming iceberg ― an iceberg so massive you can see it from Jersey ― I realize, now, more than ever, how much I’m gonna miss my Dad.
The one thing that could actually stop our new President-elect from steering the ship into that iceberg, i.e., the same thing that pretty much cut President Obama’s legs out from under him each and every time he tried to legislate for real change and managed to gut and hack away at everything he tried until it was just a shell of what it could have been ― I’m talking about our Congress ― will actually aide him in sinking the ship.
The Republicans, once again, control the House and The Senate. But now, for the first time in decades, the President will have their support. Quite tragic, really. Because, imagine, if you will, what these guys could have accomplished with a President like Obama if they actually cared about anything but themselves? Ah, what’s the use?
Not only will President-elect Trump have the support of Congress as he attempts to dismantle what’s left of our national pride/respect, banking regulations, global warming policies, NATO, world peace, etc., he will also, no doubt, use his aggressive “You’re on the list, buddy!” style to turn most of them into his obedient puppets for fear of reprisal. When you think about it, it’s kind of fitting mom’s new boyfriend’s named ‘Don,’ as he’s the spitting image of a mafia Don, in both personality and posture. The fact that he’s a completely inexperienced political hack, with no actual policy ideas, should make for an interesting next four years, for sure.
In ‘08, when President Obama took office, Senators McConnell and Boehner (remember him?) openly stated their only goal ― their only focus in the next four years ― will be to make sure Obama is a one-term President. And, while they obviously failed at their deplorable quest, over the next eight years, they succeeded at using their power and influence, along with the rest of the GOP, to see to it that, if they couldn’t get him out, they’d politically castrate him every chance they got. Which is why it’s truly a miracle, and a testament to the man’s fortitude and, most importantly, patience and dignity, he was able to accomplish all the things he’s done for this country.
Forget for a moment that a statement such as that from Sens. McConnell and Boehner, two of the nation’s highest ranking policy makers, was akin to an admission of treason to the oath they swore to uphold when they took office, one McConnell continues to betray with every breath he takes, they did everything they could, regardless of whether compromise of some form would have been in the best interest of The People, to see to it that our President failed. And, still, against all that opposition, he didn’t. In the end, in spite of, and because of, their despicable tactics, Obama’s come out the victor, while the lot of the GOP emerged as nothing more than what they are; petty, infantile school children, not worthy of an office in a library, let alone positions as important as the ones they hold.
Now, imagine Trump in those shoes. A situation where the Democrats attempt to hinder, hamper, and destroy every-single thing the man attempts, over and over and over again, for the next eight years, and succeed. I doubt our President-elect would last a week before strangling Bernie Sanders and declaring war on some third world nation as a direct result of his displaced aggression. “Who can we bomb? I need to bomb someone! I’m in charge here and I say we bomb someone!”
Luckily for Mr. Trump - and unlucky for us - he won’t have that problem. He won’t have to show us, as well as the rest of the world, his ability to remain calm and composed on a daily basis while dealing with the most incredibly sensitive and stressful situations. After all, if we’ve learned one thing at this point, it’s that Trump’s ability to handle stress gracefully is about as absent as I was from physics class my senior year.
I’m not saying I support every choice our outgoing President has made,. I differ with him on many issues and think he’s made some major mistakes, i.e., taking about six and half years to realize the GOP was not interested in working together, and rather, preferred a street fight on every issue, letting the banks off the hook, not prosecuting Bush/Cheney - at least Cheney - for war crimes, appointing a former Monsanto exec. to oversee the FDA, and, of course, refusing (so far) to pardon Edward Snowden and Chelsea Manning, but, in light of the opposition he’s faced at every turn, looking back, it’s amazing he was able to do what he’s done for health care, for the economy, and, of course, after being left with the biggest mess in the history of our country, i.e. Iraq/Afghanistan, etc., as janitor.
And, c’mon, after having been through eight years of a non-stop dogfight with some of the most despicable men/women on God’s green earth, how many of us would be able to say we still look like we could step into a Dos Equis commercial on a moment’s notice?
Translation: The man’s forgotten more about class/character than Donald Trump will ever learn, and he continues to improve on that point as each day approaches, signaling the end of his tenure.
So, as we watch our awesome ‘Dad’ head on down the driveway for the last time, ne’er to return, and prepare for the mess that is Mom’s new boyfriend, we, the kids, must now make every effort to stick together and refuse to allow this douchebag to hurt mom, in any way. It won’t be easy, but, for the foreseeable future, we seem to be stuck with the jerk. Fuzzy dice and all.