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Improving Your Flight Plan

Summer is a time for leisure and travel. To escape the daily grind and take that lone vacation that we've strived for the other 51 weeks out of the year. Many people fly to these destinations.
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Summer is a time for leisure and travel. To escape the daily grind and take that lone vacation that we've strived for the other 51 weeks out of the year. Many people fly to these destinations.

Greetings, fellow traveler. Or air traveler to be specific. If you are reading this on a train, you're in the wrong magazine and/or website. But do not worry, the clouds at 35,000 you may being seeing outside your window are just merely fog, go back to sleep.

Good. Now that we've gotten the acknowledgments out of the way and perhaps one lost train traveler, I am here to improve your experience in-flight. Do not adjust the seat or look away at any aforementioned clouds, you are my captive audience for the time being, unless of course, you turn or click off the page.
From the earliest flights of man, whether it be with makeshift wings off of a tall island palm tree or human sacrifice into a volcano, there has always been room for improvement. Plus, the food was never up to speed on those prehistoric short flights and they've still yet to catch up.

First, there is the arrival at said airport. The idea that passengers pay for luggage is ludicrous. It is the only industry that I'm aware of that one has to pay for the "luxury" of stowing their bags on a passage they've already paid for months earlier. It's a wonder one doesn't have to pay to get them back at the end of the flight. Flying shouldn't have to be so difficult.

It is very simple. What the airlines need to do first should occur in pre-boarding. They need to maintain order when that boarding time arrives. Instead of order, you have a crush of people all waiting to get on in the first very few rows. Into this mix, they wait a maximum of say, five minutes and then start to board more passengers in this cattle drive. Moo-ve!

We all hate lines. I do, anyway. I'm sure you do, as well. But since there are so many of us, lines as unnatural as they are, must be tolerated in the equally unnatural experience of flying. As long as we're dealing with abnormal, then what should happen is that the airlines board passengers backwards. Backwards you say? Yes, backwards!

And can someone tell me why is there a caste system when flying? Sure, they paid more money for warm cookies, endless Scotch and an edible meal, but why the What makes it any different than traveling by bus or train. It is an archaic notion that there are social boundaries passengers must adhere to even if separated by a thin curtain.

Forgoing all class-system that the airlines rely on to squeeze, er, board their passengers and their money dry, it makes much more sense to load the so-called "economy class" over the "First Class" passengers. Are we on the Titanic here? It's the same plane, people!

With everyone boarding from the back of the plane up, forgetting the indignation of the "First Class"(just give them extra free booze, all will be forgiven!), the boarding process would go much smoother than having to climb over someone to get to the row in back of them. Plus, the overhead compartments would fill up properly and not "musical chairs" style with someone scrambling to find a place for their luggage as the plane is ready to take flight.

Another practical idea for all of that unused airport space is that instead of boarding people in a jumbled group, have them line up according to their ticketed row on predestined seating charts spelled out on the floor, again, backwards first, then to front. In this way, people could line up, board according to their seating on each side and be situated a lot faster.

Passengers won't need to pack their patience as they do now or stow it in the overhead bin (but of course, contents may have shifted during the flight). Once passengers are quickly seated and the aisles are cleared without much hassle, the flight can take off on-time. Then it's the landing and exiting the plane that throws the whole aforementioned system back into frustrating chaos. Don't even get me started on the lottery-like chances of quickly finding your suitcase at the baggage claim!