What do Nice, France, London, England, Sheldon Good and you, my readers, have to do with my feelings about relationships? Read my musings...
Nice is not the place to travel in December. It is cold and out of season. So why did we trek half way across the world to spend time in a location like Nice? A business meeting and relationships, dear readers!
My husband, Shelly, belongs to an organization called FIABCI, otherwise known as the International Real Estate Federation housed in Paris, France. The organization is made up of real estate professionals from all over the world. Over the years of belonging to FIABCI, we have established treasured relationships. And isn't that what life is all about? Relationships.
We are now flying across the Swiss Alps on British Air on our way to London for a few days of shopping, visiting the Tate, riding on the London Eye, going to the theatre, staying at our favorite hotel, Claridge's, dining at favorite restaurants and the most exciting part of our trip is seeing our dear London friends. After all, when push comes to shove, the frosting on all of our cakes, is once again, our relationships, right?
As I write my musings on the plane, out of the corner of my eye, I see my husband, munching on his lunch. I turned mine away because I was not hungry. Shelly interrupts my writing saying, "Would you like a bite of my chicken." Dear readers, he would never eat his lunch without asking me to share it with him. I knew he would ask because it is how we have built our relationship. We are devoted to one another. It is our lifestyle.
So now, I am thinking about relationships and ask myself, "What should I expect from my children and my grands? What should I expect from my several friends? What do I give of myself to my relationships? Am I deserving to have people want to build strong relationships with me?"
My answer to every one of my question is, "I don't know." And that makes me sad. And now I ask myself, "Should I be sad?" My answer, "Yes and no."
I think about my children. It is sad that I am no longer #1 in their lives, but it is healthy and normal that I gave them their roots and then their wings.
Do I feel invisible in their lives? No.
They love me and, thank God, they have their husbands and children.
What about my grands? I am not their mother and can never be first in their lives, nor should I be. I know they love me and respect me and they know they can depend on me. It is all normal, but bittersweet.
What about friends? I believe what a dear friend told me about friendship. "If you don't expect anything, you will never be disappointed."
It sounds harsh, but it is true, only because friends have their families with their trials and tribulations and their own lives they deal with daily. What do I give to my relationships with my girlfriends? Loyalty and care and a very girly girlfriend. Am I deserving? I have never asked. I hope so.
I think I speak to many of your true feelings because none of us can escape the progression and reality of life. It is not about love. Our children and grands love us. It is not about our dear friendships. Our girlfriends are there for us when they are able to be. It is about situations that interrupt relationships that are unavoidable. And that is sad, because I wish we could all be one big happy family all the time.
As I was growing up, I observed the respect and devotion between my parents. On the day I married, I have never forgotten my mother's words: "The most important relationship you will have in your life time is with your husband. Nurture your man. Always, put him first."
My mother was right. The most important relationship you have in your lifetime is with your spouse or partner. When I ask myself, "What should I expect my husband to give me in our relationship?" My answer is, "Everything." When I ask myself, what should my husband expect from me in our relationship? My answer is "Everything."
And that is why on the flight to London, I knew my husband would offer me his chicken. And if the tables were turned, he knew I would offer him mine. Because, dear readers, the number one relationship we can count on or should be able to count on, for eternity, is our spouse or partner.
I am well aware that some of you do not have the type of marriage that Shelly and I have. And I am well aware that some of you are alone due to divorce or widowhood. What can I say?
For those of you who are divorced or widowed, I would make a determined effort, if you want to, to get into a new relationship. Make it your priority for 2017. Leave no stone unturned. I can speak from example. I was widowed. The second time around is 'a charm.' And when you find him, follow my mother's advice. It is a proven recipe for marital success.
For my dear readers who are in an unpleasant relationship you have two choices; the first is to go out of your way to listen to my mom and see if you can rekindle your relationship. The second is scary, but may be your only alternative: leave with positive plans to find your special soul mate.
We are now in our descent. We will be landing shortly. I was just thinking: I am really lucky to have a relationship with all of you, dear readers. Many of you write to me on Facebook and on Honey Good. I recognize many of your names when I answer your notes. Thank you for all your kind words. I am touched and though I do not know most of you, our relationship is one that makes me very happy. Because, as the saying goes, "Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer."