It's NO secret: the word gets a bad rap.
Nobody wants to be the Negative Nancy. Bummer Betsy. Pessimistic Polly. No way. Not us! We want to be the Yes Man! The Go-To Girl! The Queen Bee! And Queen Bee always says yes. She takes on everything, hits it all out of the park, and comes back for more. Like a BAUS.
...in the movies.
In real life, we overuse the word "yes" to the point of exhaustion. Yes, of course it is great to do things for other people, but not at the expense of our sanity. So, when the word "yes" is taking over your life - it's time to turn to the dark side. Which, might not be so dark after all.
Here are a few reasons why saying the word "no" might not be such a bad idea.
1. It Creates Accountability with Others
How often are you asked to do a task for someone when they could TOTALLY do it for themselves? How often do you say yes?
Bad girl.
When people habitually ask us to do favors that they are absolutely able to complete on their own, we are creating little lazy monsters. Why would they start doing anything for themselves when you're right there to do it all for them? And it's not like they're asking you to do the fun stuff. Nah. They're asking you to file the paperwork, drive two miles out of your way, or tidy up when you're already running super late. They're asking you to do all of the things neither of you want to do. And at some point, the scale tips and it's simply not fair anymore.
It's great to do favors for others. It's wonderful to go out of your way to make someone happy. But not when it's expected. Not when it's aggressively cutting into your life. Not when it's asked out of sheer apathy.
So say no! Embrace your inner resistance and let others become accountable for themselves. Because when you say no, ideally they have to do something themselves. That creates productive, self-motivated, dependable people. And everybody likes those people! So if you think about it...when you say no, you are helping out everyone!
2. You Experience Higher Productivity
Another great side effect of saying 'no' is having more time to get your own work done. When you aren't stretched incredibly thin due to thinking about what others need - you are able to check things off of your list and have some time to unwind. In order to be a contributing human in society, we need to be able to have time to recharge (especially if you're an introvert). If we are constantly going a hundred miles a minute, we'll burn out. Or become sloppy. Or straight up quit.
Dat's bad.
So by eliminating unnecessary obligations, you increase your own productivity and have more time to help others when the mood strikes you. Yay.
3. You Get to Know Yourself Better
When you're not constantly focused on doing things for others, acquiescing to odd requests, and putting your own priorities on the back burner - you clear a lot of head space. A lot. All of a sudden you get to think about what YOU want, how you would like to spend YOUR time, and what you want for YOUR future. It's crazy how different we act when our time is completely up to us. You get the chance to be truly authentic. And I bet you're a really nice person even when you aren't having to do everything for everyone else. You probably want to do a lot of things for everyone else. But it's your choice now.
4. It Decreases Awkward Asks
Another beautiful thing about committing to the power of "no" is the quick decrease in asks from other people. Instead, people will ask you for things when it's important or they really think you're a great fit for what they are looking for. But they stop asking you to do the things THEY should be doing for themselves. And that in turn decreases some awkward tension when you do in fact have to say no. I get it, it's totally awkward, but it's also totally necessary. And the more you decline, the less you are put in that situation.
Thank goodness.
5. Yes Means More
Here's the best part of saying no: it makes your YESES stand out. When you actually say 'yes' to anything - you, along with everybody else - will know that 1) you really want to and 2) you'll follow through. That right there is golden. All of a sudden you have become more reliable, honest, and trustworthy in the long run by saying no to the little things you really don't need to be doing. Your commitment and your word mean so much more. People don't question your motives or assume you're a pushover. You mean business now! So give more power to the YES by saying NO more often.
Want to learn how to utilize the power of no?
Fabulous. A commitment to start is the most important step to take. No matter how uncomfortable, how nervous, or how intimidated it makes you feel - you have the ability to say no. You can totally do it. It takes practice and a firm understanding of WHY the power of 'no' is necessary - but it will pay off. If you need some extra help getting started, you can come say hi to me! I do online life coaching and a bunch of other fun things with my amazing team of girl bosses. We'd love to chat and help you put yourself FIRST.
You can also check out the original article here. Talk soon!