In or Out? Why Men Don't Commit

Women on bed
Women on bed

I got a great email from a woman the other day.

Her name was Amy.

She's 48.

She was widowed.

She is ready to share her life with someone.

She met a guy about 10 years younger than her, in his late 30s.

She wants to go out with this guy again and see if there's more than just a physical attraction. But here's the thing: He's never asked her out again. All he says to her is that it's coming.

She goes on to say in her email that she's dating several men.

She keeps going back to this one she can't have.

She says he has a lot of the qualities you look for in a man. He's attractive, has a great sense of humor, they laugh a lot, but there are some things that drive her nuts. He ignores her texts, for one thing.

The idea of a man. How many times have you fallen for the idea of a man? A man you think is exactly what you want. The idea of this man is great. And you're attracted to the idea of him.

But he can't seem to pull the trigger and go out with you. You don't really understand why. You're confused by why he's not pulling the trigger.

So I'm going to tell you right now. When a man is on the fence about a woman, he'll keep you on the other side of that fence. He's not going to pull you over to his side of the fence until you either do something, or he has to make a decision.

When a man is really excited about a woman, there are no excuses.


None of the past stuff comes up. He will jump right in.

When a man is excited about a woman, he will text her back. He will go out with her. He will make sure he sees her.

This woman is with a guy who has one foot in and one foot out. He's probably working other angles, or other women, that are his priority.

He's younger, so he's probably thinking about whether or not he really wants to be with an older woman.

He is probably having fun playing around with her. If she's one of the many girls he's flirting with, he's almost using her as foreplay to go and connect with other women.

I know, the truth hurts but it's really true.

When a man desires a woman, he's going to make her a priority. Plain and simple.

There is going to be none of this "it's coming" situation. What I know is when a man is attracted to a woman, all he can think about is how intoxicated he is by her, how much he wants to be with her.

He's not going to put her on the back burner at all if he doesn't want to lose her to anybody else.

So if you have a man doing this to you, constantly teasing, flirting, but not taking it anywhere, you're not his priority. By the time you finally do go out with him, he's already worked through so many other women, you're like the last call at the bar on a Friday or Saturday night.

And you don't want to be the last call at a bar.

You want to be his number one choice. You deserve that. You need to be that.

Stop being someone's last call girl and waiting for a guy to pick you at the end of the night.

Don't become enamored with the idea of a man, especially if he's not attainable or has one foot in and one foot out.

The simple reason why a man won't commit or even why he's not asking you again, is that he's just not that into you. You deserve someone that is into you, way into you.