In the blink of an eye, I will be out of this season of mothering little ones. As much as I look forward to those diaper free days, I also find myself holding back. A sudden realization of the shortness of this phase has caused me to desperately want to live in the here and now.
Instead of constantly thinking one step ahead, I have started to step back and be still. I want to capture the moments. Sometimes, I will even try to capture the messy moments, you know, the really, really messy mothering moments. Those moments you think you want to forget. Those moments when you wonder if you are going to be able to survive mothering your little ones.
While I do not enjoy the messes, I want to capture them, because I want to be able to use those moments to relate with younger moms one day. There is value in these messes, moms.
With the moving on to the next phase, comes so much that is good but it also brings on transitions. Life always tends to get a little fuller. Sporting events, dance recitals, and school activities will quickly fill the once empty days.
As I see new mamas holding their little ones, I want to beg them to be present. But I feel like my cries get carried away by the wind of life. Because as much as we want to say these things, they often fall on deaf ears. I know this, because not too many years ago, I was the one holding the little one wishing for the future. At every milestone, I would eagerly anticipate and push towards the next. Instead of focusing on the present, I was running at high speed towards an unknown finish line. Before I knew it, he was entering kindergarten and I wondered where the time had gone.
It is not that the future is bad. On the contrary, it is full of more than I could ever imagine. It is just that the current moments hold a lot that is often left unseen and untouched.
I do not want to live with eyes only looking to the future, and I know that deep down, you do not either. As much as I know you may not be listening, I will still cry out and beg for you to be still and rock that sweet baby a little longer.
I know you are tired. I know you just want sleep. The funny thing is that while I no longer have a newborn, I am still tired, and I still want sleep. The only difference is that my babies are not so little now. Every day that goes by I find myself holding onto the moments and praying to keep my eyes wide open.
In the blink of an eye, this will all be different, and I do not want to miss a thing. What about you?
This article was first featured at Living In This Season.