As the writer guy that I am, I really love it when stories gracefully dovetail or, in the end, come full circle in a nicely satisfying and tidy way.
And that is what the story of this election seems to be giving us.
A year ago, Donald Trump unctuously slithered his way down his escalator with his pull-toy wife to announce his candidacy for King of Crazy Land.
Having appeared on the radio as a laugh-snorting, snickering, school boy-salacious sidekick on the Howard Stern Show, Trump, taking a page right out of Howard's playbook, opened his remarks by declaring that Mexican immigrants were rapists, drug dealers, and murderers. That's shock DJ 101, baby.
If this were the 1950's I would say that Donald was doing it for kicks, man. He has acted like the stereotypical spoiled brat rich kid in any post-war B-movie whose lack of human instinct or any kind of empathy is sure to be the prescription for his ultimate demise.
You just knew that all that pot and frantic bongo banging is going to lead, sooner or later, to a life of debauchery and corruption.
In truth, Trump was looking to re-brand himself in the hopes of getting a better piece of the pie for The Apprentice and since NBC wasn't budging, he figured: fuck it. I'll run for president, say a bunch of stupid ass things and then once I'm on the front pages of newspapers, I'll call it a d-a-y.
Ah, but just like Howard Stern, what Trump did consider was the reaction from the Con-federacy of Donces: the vanilla white, undereducated, tooth-challenged, disenfranchised and unilaterally ignored middle class (with good reason) who, having paid zero attention to anything that actually happened in Washington for the past eight years (other than what Limbaugh, Hannity and O'Reilly told them), were ripe and ready to be led like lemmings right off the cliff of reason.
It did not matter that the GOPhuck Yourself Party, well, phucked them by blocking any job bill that came their way and personally mangled their health care.
The Donfederacy is the same crowd that just don't cotton to no stories about climate change or what not. Middle America has, over the past eight years, morphed into pre-war Germany: with the identical level of dissatisfaction. Trump, who was in fact, goofing, gave his prancing court jesters exactly what they desperately needed: an entire race to blame.
And just like that, scowling, arm folded Adolph Mussolini Trump was born.
He no longer had to run for the office of the all powerful all exalted King of Crazy.
He was sworn right in by the masses, hoisted high up on their shoulders.
Suddenly, Trump, who had up till then never played the lead role in anything in his entire life, was given the rare opportunity to actually become the character of Donald Trump: the one he played in life and on TV and was manufactured by in book form by Tony Schwartz.
He had long learned how to handle stardom by hanging out with guys like George Steinbrenner and Frank Sinatra. It was all about bluster, booze and broads. The difference is Trump's teachers were the real deal and had actual ability and talent.
Trump was a hanger on. He was nothing more than the embodiment of a rich guy who is worth hanging around because he has the best dope.
Trump has always known that he is a party-crashing fraud. I can just imagine him coming home at night, after swinging at Studio 54, standing in front of his slimming mirror, pretending he's Mr. Ring-a-ding-ding.
The fact that little people got hurt in his life has meant squat. From high above the lofty buzzard perch of Trump Tower, to Donald and his sycophant children, Connie and the Olive oil hair lubricated Skittles and Fredo, the people down below are nothing more than swirling ants.
I mean when you go out on the Serengeti, butcher innocent animals, rip off their tails and wave them over your head like flag-waving ISIS terrorists, it is proof positive that you are completely immune to human behavior.
The Trumps have not once shown any evidence or even caring about being a charitable group. Ever. That is unless you include whatever gifts they've given to themselves.
And now, after slogging us all through his rich-boy-seven-levels-of-hell-frat-party-mess, we have finally come to this delicious conclusion.
You know who is going to make all the difference and be the principle designers of Trump's final and inevitable demise?
Why, that would be all the murderers, rapists and drug dealers who he attacked on day one. They have already been turning out in early voting places by the millions -- in record-setting numbers.
Who's the hombre now, motherfucker?
You see, Americans, black, white, red, brown, beige, gay or straight or transgender, are all universally connected by one single thread that if you tossed it in the wind would spell out:
"We will never, ever forget."
We do not throw away our personal values or our innate sense of who we are because that is what defines a sane and secure -- and most of all -- genuinely loved person.
I have never once felt that Trump believed a single thing that he has said. To me, from day one, this has all been Yoko Ono-style performance art in an exhibit called "Let's See How Much Shit I Can Get Away With."
Even him calling himself a Republican was in-joke bullshit. Ten years ago, on national TV he extolled the virtues of both Hillary and Bill Clinton as world-class leaders of the highest order. But when you surround yourself with lunatics like the perpetually deranged and daffy Rudy Giuliani and Sarah Palin -- man, can ever you ever get away with murder.
But the real villain here is the media, who gave him all the free coverage he wanted and therefore personally and hands-on helped to create the Trump monster because, as Paddy Chayefsky would say, "He was on television, stupid."
Their bloodlust for ratings has destroyed us.
Until a month ago, there was no outrage. No rebuttal. No standing for what was fair, right or decent.
They happily handed the mic and said, "Knock yourself out. We have toilet paper to sell."
They are almost exclusively to blame.
As are all the newspapers who gave Trump all the photo ops that he wanted.
You bet your ass this has all been rigged -- by every single network that has been in silent collusion who ultimately all became FOX News.
Why? Because we fucking allowed it.
We didn't march against the insanity. We let it prosper and grow wild in the streets.
Once again Kitty Genovese got slaughtered and once again no one gave a shit.
The biggest problem now is that Trump is not going to lose. I'm talking about the brand, not the presidency.
Unless his upcoming court appearances, which at one point included a statutory rape case, doesn't destroy him A Face in The Crowd style, which is possible, his heart will go on. And on.
He has a built-in, hypnotized-ship-of-fools audience now and the fact that they are capable of armed militia murder and mayhem, which he has blithely and publicly encouraged with glee, is a publicly transmitted fact.
Once again: on TV. In your goddamn livingrooms.
All I can hope for is one day that one black and one Latino Trump worker will suddenly go rogue and force Donald into hiding in his Hispanic Room and never, ever let him out like the groaning Satan of Twilight Zone fame.
Until then, we have to deal with a brand new kind of antibiotic resistant strain epidemic which sings to our body electoral and has lodged deep into the undersized brains of 40+ percent of America, many of whom actually believe that the world is a mere few thousand years old and once upon a time sprouted, like any number of bankrupt Trump Hotels, right out the Garden of Eden.
You can simply call it "Self-Entitled Madness Syndrome" because that is what Trump and his minions have in common. The illness is that they believe that everything is all about them. Their race.
Their non-inclusive world.
And you will be able to sit back and enjoy the show which will no doubt be brought to you by Coke, Audi, Chevy and Frosted Flakes.