By Ruth Houston for Divorce360
Business travel often provides a cheating spouse the perfect cover for an extramarital affair. They are the most common settings for infidelity, according to “The Normal Bar” by Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz and James Witte; 36 percent of men and 13 percent of women told the authors that they gave into temptation while on a business trip — even if they said they were happily married. An out-of-town trip can allow a cheating spouse the luxury of conducting his or her affair in a location that's far from the sight of prying eyes. And in many cases, his company may unknowingly be picking up part or all of the tab.
Here are some of the tactics a cheating spouse might use:
1. Bogus Business Trips
Is your spouse traveling more frequently than before? A cheating husband or wife whose job requires frequent travel can easily invent a business trip that doesn't exist.
Sandy's story: Sandy's husband, Bob, told her he had to spend a week at the company's West Coast office. But he led everyone at the office to believe that he was taking a week's vacation with his wife. Bob's carefully constructed cover story fell apart when Sandy ran into the wife of one of Bob's co-workers who asked Sandy how she enjoyed her recent vacation in Hawaii.
2. Padding His Trip
Are your spouse’s business trips lasting longer than usual? Sometimes a cheating husband will tack on an extra day or two before or after a legitimate business trip so he can spend the extra time with his mistress, or to indulge in a local fling.
Jeanne's story: From conversations Jeanne overheard at her husband's company picnic, it became clear that the convention Dan recently attended was only three days long, not five. Caught off guard, when Jeanne questioned him about the discrepancy in time, Dan could offer no valid explanation for why he returned home from the convention two days later than everyone else. Jeanne hired a private investigator, and Dan's extramarital affair was soon exposed.
3. A Home Away from Home
Do you know where your spouse is staying when he's out of town? Or do you automatically assume you'll be able to reach him by cell phone, or at his hotel? If your cheating spouse has a lover who lives in a city where he or she travels frequently for business, your spouse may opt to stay at her home instead of a hotel.
Brenda's story: Brenda had no clue this was the case with Harvey until their teenage son was involved in a car accident. Unable to get her husband on his cell phone, Brenda tried reaching him at the Radisson where he usually stayed when he was in Boston, only to be told he wasn't registered there. Nor was Harvey registered at any other hotel in the Boston area. A frantic call to Harvey's job revealed where Harvey was. Sandy was told that Harvey usually stayed at the home of an old college classmate when he was servicing the Boston accounts. The college classmate turned out to be an ex-girlfriend, who was now divorced.
4. Travel for Two but Not with You
Are you no longer asked to accompany your husband on his business trips? Does your wife refuse to have you drop her off at the airport or pick her up when she returns? It could be because your spouse has a travelling companion he or she doesn't want you to see.
Lynette's story: Tyrone told Lynette he'd catch a cab home from the airport since he was returning on a late night flight. Even though he discouraged Lynette from coming to the airport to pick him up, she decided to surprise him and be there to meet him anyway. The surprise was on Lynette when she saw Tyrone leaving the plane in the company of a woman she had never seen before. Not wanting to jump to conclusions, Lynette followed Tyrone and the other woman at a discreet distance. Their body language and the snatches of conversation she managed to hear, confirmed that other woman was not just someone Tyrone happened to meet on the plane. Lynette confronted them when they reached the baggage claim area and caused quite a scene.
What’s your story? Have you ever been tempted on a business trip?