As parents and educators, we’ve all had encounters with a variety of children, with a full array of personality traits. Some kids seem to be born with the confidence needed to grow into a great leader, others are shy, and some are happy to follow. In this way, children are very much like adults. Some young people think they’re leaders, when they’re really exhibiting traits that may classify them as bossy or even as a bully. Once again, we unfortunately see this in adults as well. But, it’s our job to guide children away from these habits and help them identify and model appropriate leadership skills. While not every child will choose traditional leadership roles as they progress through school and their career, it’s essential that they have the skill set to call on as necessary. Each and every one of us has moments that require leadership in our lifetime, so let’s discuss how to prepare kids for those situations and more.
Social Emotional Learning as a structured concept often starts in preschool, and can last a lifetime. As young children become more self and socially aware, it’s natural for social hierarchies to develop. We have to do our best to eliminate bullying from this hierarchy, as well as favoritism shown by teachers and other adults. This allows all children, despite their perceived social role, an opportunity to thrive. Ideally, a focus on social emotional learning reduces the likelihood of bullying because it promotes behaviors and skills that promote positive peer interaction. Self-management and relationship skills, also core components of social emotional learning, help more assertive or aggressive students channel impulses into constructive behaviors.
For young children, two of the best ways to promote social emotional learning are structured play and group reading. Structured play allows a child to practice verbal and nonverbal communication, negotiate roles, and helps them understand and appreciate the thoughts and feelings of others. Group reading is an essential starting point for a lifetime of leadership and learning, two things that often go hand-in-hand.
Making decisions and facing consequences is a part of social emotional learning, and an essential part of developing positive leadership skills. Now, it may seem counter-intuitive: isn’t a child that is reluctant to show leadership and make decisions going to be set back when faced with negative consequences? Well, not necessarily. In an academic setting, it’s important that we give kids the opportunity to fail, with consequences that are constructive, not punitive. Older kids and adults face important choices almost every day. Leadership skills include accurately and dispassionately assessing a situation, understanding your own motivation and consulting your conscience, and making sure your actions are straightforward and unconflicted. The only way to hone these skills is through trial, error, and evaluation.
Teamwork is a great way to prepare kids for adult life and to practice leadership roles. We’ve all had an experience on a team where not everyone is contributing equally, and it always feels unfair and frustrating. It’s also a great example of how all teamwork, and good leadership, requires strong communication skills, an ability to outline and delegate goals, and a system for accountability. When left to their own devices, students will often to defer to a social hierarchy to define team roles, and that’s not a good way to bolster the confidence of kids that may need it most.
One way to avoid this is break students into groups to work on a specific problem, with each being the team leader in a specific area or for a specific goal. This allows each child to participate in the same way, and holds them equally accountable. More so, it allows children with less confidence to observe and emulate leadership skills being modeled by their peers.
Did you have a formative experience on your path to leadership? How do you nurture leadership skills in your kids or students, and what challenges have you faced? Share your experiences and thoughts in the comments!