Introvert or Extrovert? ENFJ or INFP? -- Who Are You, Really?


I am an ENFJ. According to my test results it means I am an extrovert who loves being around people. Truth. It also says that I may have a difficult time being by myself. False.

I am a strong I/S when it comes to DISC yet that has changed just from over the last three years where the test result showed I was a strong C. I tend to retake the DISC every two to three years and I realize that, as time passes, I get closer to the middle of all four elements. I think this is interesting.

Well, many of the personality tests can help you understand yourself better. They can help to create a more effective team within an organization and help us to put into words what we may already feel is true about us. I admit, there are lots of advantages to those personality tests which can't be dismissed.

However, I see a big problem when it comes to defining our personality through a test. For one, it is a man-made test that is kept very general. When you finish filling out your questionnaire there is nobody sitting behind it saying "Oh, yes, this exactly is John." (Fill in your name.). It is a great tool but really, doesn't say much about who you are.

Every single one of us is yearning for answers to the question: "Who am I?" Personality tests become our straw to hold on to. You are sitting on the results like nobody could ever pull that chair away from underneath your behind. It is yours and dare anyone to try to take that away from you or try to prove you wrong. Hey, it is all ok. I, however, would like to invite you to loosen up your grip on that chair and give it some wiggle room.

Here is why: We naturally have a core desire to wanting to fit in. We want to be part of something bigger and feel connected. We want to be seen. Unfortunately in many cases we can't even see ourselves for who we are which makes it very complicated to figure out who and what to present to the world. Ah, that inner struggle is killing us. It sends out energy that confuses not just others but yourself, as well. We subconsciously yearn to find our identity.

We are called to approach life from a perspective of knowing, not wishing. With everything that is being thrown at us - toxins, negative or even positive energy, opinions etc - our inner knowing and soulful listening is being covered up with worldly trash. We try to find out who we are. It is somewhere, right? Now suddenly a test comes along that will tell you what you have tried to find an answer for. Great. You can stop looking deeper. In that moment when you take the test, it will ask you questions that are quite on the surface level of your being. You can only answer most questions with what you consciously see when looking at yourself. Yet, what you see is not the truth. Over all those years you have put on layers of protective measures that keep your deepest and most vulnerable part of yourself save-your Spirit, your Soul.

With those test results you are simply trying to paint over those survival mechanisms with some great colors to make them look shinier. After all, it gave you an idea of who you are and you want this layer to look great for others to see and value.

While filling out the assessment, you are choosing from what you know with where you are currently at in life. Unless you have done some significant self-evaluation and taken the time to understand and to get to know your core, your assessment results are being sabotaged by your own self. It is a combination of what you wish of who you are and what you can consciously see. For a while it will give you a platform to stand on. Others can relate to you. You can relate to others. You are part of something bigger. Ah, this is how it all fits together. Wait, not quite. You will see that your subconscious mind and your soul always know the truth and at some point this foundation will crumble. You start to feel unsettled and restless. But maybe this is just part of life because you just found out who you are through this assessment?!

See, personality assessments are great at giving you ideas and a good start into going deeper at who you are, your purpose and what you are called to do. But it is not the answer. Way too often do I observe and talk to people that hide behind their test results as they are the truth when you may actually just use them as an excuse to not having to step outside of your comfort zone. I believe that the more we connect within, the more we become centered. This is when personality tests become unnecessary because we trust what we know about ourselves.

When there are things I don't want to do, I tend to be an introvert. Now, if it is something I love to do, I turn into an extrovert.