Sometimes it’s hard to feel grateful for what we have, especially when times are tough. So instead, try being inversely grateful -- thankful for the inconveniences that are NOT happening, for the threats that you do NOT have to deal with, for the physical pain that is NOT your struggle to bear. This brand of gratitude is based on the realization that things could always be worse.
I first became aware of the power of practicing inverse gratitude while traveling on an airplane. Air travel, in fact, offers a host of opportunities for inverse gratitude. Imagine these scenarios:
-- Your flight is delayed 3 hours: At least the flight hasn’t been cancelled. At least we’re in the airport and not stuck sitting on the tarmac. At least we’re not grounded for two days by a blizzard.
-- There is some serious turbulence: I’m delighted that the person next to me isn’t vomiting. I’m glad that I’m not vomiting. I’m grateful that we’re not preparing for a crash landing.
-- You’re stuck in a middle seat. I’m glad that this isn’t a transatlantic flight. I’m glad that I’m not traveling on the Mayflower for three months.
Inverse gratitude creates a shift in perspective that calms your body and mind. Once you get the hang of Inverse gratitude, you’ll discover a myriad of maladies and inconveniences that you are happily not encountering in the moment. In fact, maybe your situation isn’t as challenging as it could be or quite as bad as you thought. This shift paves the way to being grateful for what you actually do have.
Health: Having a serious health concern is not easy or comfortable. It can be a challenge to focus on gratitude unless you create a broader context for your situation. I’ve included a practice in my book, The Little Book of Inner Peace, suggested by the Zen monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. The practice, “Enjoy your non toothache,” hits the nail on the head. Depending on your current situation you might be grateful that you’re not in the hospital, you’re not facing this alone, you’re not facing surgery, you don’t have a broken bone, or that you’re not blind.
Weather: It might be sweltering hot in the summer in the south or freezing cold in the winter in the north, but there are always weather conditions that you’re not experiencing. Be grateful that you’re not in a hurricane, blizzard, tornado, or earthquake. Be grateful that it’s not hotter, colder or windier. Notice that you’re not under an exploding volcano.
Historical Times: Putting yourself in the context of a historical back drop is an especially sobering practice. Be grateful that you don’t have to read by candlelight, that you don’t have to pump water from a well or use an outhouse. Be grateful that you’re not riding to the next town in a horse and buggy (that can be a sobering thought while in rush hour traffic!). Be grateful that you don’t have to grow your own food and chop your own wood for heat. Be grateful that you’re not having your leg amputated without anaesthesia. Be delighted that you don’t have to wonder where your loved ones are because you have no means of communication. Any one of us plopped into 18th century would rethink our perspective on the luxury and convenience of 21st century living.
Gratitude does lead to higher levels of satisfaction and happiness. And inverse gratitude broadens your view and creates deeper insight into the world of circumstances. When you focus on the burdens that you don’t have, life looks a whole lot brighter.