Parents

Is It REALLY Caillou We Hate?

01/10/2017 09:03am ET | Updated January 11, 2017

You are probably shaking your head “yes.”

If you are a mom of a toddler, there is a 99 percent chance you hate that little bald brat. Today, as my skin crawled listening to him whine over a Christmas tree, I got to thinking: Is it really Caillou that I hate?

Let’s face it: most toddlers whine and are bratty ― it’s how they roll. They throw irrational tantrums, and I’m pretty sure they are why wine was once created. However, that’s life. So if it’s not him that we all hate, who could it be?

His mom.

Yep, you read it right. I hate Caillou’s mom.

My hate isn’t even because she raised that awful spawn. It’s because no matter how horrible he is, how rude he is to that poor little Rosie or the fact that he is 4 years old and still bald… she keeps her cool. She never loses her mind and cries in the closet while he rides his cat like a miniature pony. Unlike me, her temper is even, and her voice is always loving. She bakes cookies and builds snowmen. You never find her chugging her Cab Sauv while counting down the hours until her husband comes home. She teaches that horrid human about different heritages and lets him play with glue sticks. She NEVER hands him her iPad to get an hour of silence.

Please, television, stop giving our kids a false sense of what moms should be like.

Just once, I want to sit down and watch a cartoon with my kid that shows what this mom life is all about. I want a mom who doesn’t get a chance to be alone. Who sometimes cries because her kids are breaking her sanity. A mom who loves her babies so much but sometimes just really wants a nap. Not a perfect mom who does her hair and makeup every day but maybe one who is still in her robe 12 hours later when her husband gets home.

Don’t get me wrong, as often as I threaten to trade my slippers in for heels, I can’t imagine being anything other than a mom. I love my girls and 100 percent know this is where I was meant to be. All I’m asking for is a cartoon mom who shows it how it really is.

Are you with me?