A text came in from a friend late one Sunday night (some foreshadowing for you here... Sunday night texts aren't usually over excitement about start of the work week).
It read, "Do you know so and so?" (A person who is from my hometown.)
Wondering why she had asked, I responded, "Yes, we went to highschool together. Nice guy. Why?"
"He and his wife live close to us. She drives a Mercedes SUV and she stays at home with her two kids. I wish I could stay at home... how do people do it? I know her husband can't be doing that well..."
Trying to cheer her up, I responded, "They are either in debt up to their eyeballs or they have family money." In this case, I think family money be the root of the equation.
She responded, "Yeah, we aren't that comfortable with a lot of debt and John (name changed to protect the innocent, her husband) does well, but we couldn't make it on one salary. I wish I could quit work."
This fantastic friend and mom has worked hard in her career, she has specialized Master's degree and works in the field where she pursued this degree. She has what most people would call a good corporate job with a good company, and wants to quit, what gives?
Why does she want to take it to the house?
Most would respond (now, I'm not saying my friend is or has ever played this card) that it is about being a good parent. My friend is going to be a good mom whether she works or doesn't. She knows that, I know that.
Honestly, it comes down to the fact that she isn't engaged in her work. She can take it or leave it, and she'd leave it in a heartbeat if a money tree were growing in her backyard.
What does this say about why women leave the workplace? I believe most women of childbearing age leave the workplace not because they think they will be a better mom by doing so, they leave the workplace because they don't love their job to begin with. The child(ren) are just the logical and socially acceptable excuse to quit.
As Arianna Huffington states in her book, Thrive, "What she found was that research showed, yes, child care and elder care were cited most often as the reasons women left. But after those, the motivation most often given was lack of engagement or enjoyment in the job. And, of course, none of the three reasons are exclusive."
The book goes on to say, "...for women to be engaged in the workplace, they need to feel valued."
I wish my friend could take it to the house if that is what she really wanted. If that is what would make her feel valuable. But I think what she really wants is a job that is more fulfilling. One that is more of what she expected to have after all her hard work. One that didn't leave her being jealous of the mom in the Mercedes.
And if she and her employer could work together to figure out a way to lead to more engagement, maybe she and I could both rest easier on a Sunday night. And quite honestly, the company she works for could be more successful, because they've got a winner who is not just showing up for a paycheck, but is engaged in what she is doing.