I know before people are going start a rampage at least hear out my reasoning behind it.
The thing is most parents strive to get their kids a good or at least a home that is comfortable, where you truly feel like home. A place in the whole world where you can have a peaceful and happy time when you are dealing with the harsh world outside being just another one in the crowd. Its your home where you are needed and you are the special one.
Our parents spend all their money, effort, youth and sometimes all wishes to fulfill our wishes, our dreams. When the time comes for them to have some peace and quiet to themselves and enjoy the time they lost while toiling hard to fulfill our necessities we are ready to face the same harsh world to achieve our goals and dreams.
Some of us are lucky who get to stay with our parents but most of us move out to different cities. For some its easy to call our parents to live with us but most of us cant. Its economically, emotionally and practically draining.
So now what?
With a heavy heart we have to leave our parents back and start a new life far away from them think its wasteful, dangerous and even callous to propagate this thought of parents living alone by themselves why?
Wasteful- Most of the times kids leave home when they are about 18 or a year more so now a house that could sustain 5-6 people is inhabited by only 2-3 people. Isn't it a waste of space? especially in a country where population keeps increasing every day and many people who truly need a home cant buy even a small apartment. We have only so much land people!!!
Dangerous- Most of our parents friends, family also ages with them. Sometimes when people move from one neighborhood to another especially a new neighborhood most people there also approximately are the same age. So now your parents have most family, friends and a neighborhood of people almost the same age which in some ways is good as they can understand each other better, each others struggles and aspirations better.
But there is a catch isn't their always one?
1. Since most people are same age who might be suffering from the same ailments so who will come and take care of them?
2. Sometimes old people keep tenants but what if tenants take away your quiet and peace. Or what is they commit some crime? You have to think of the worst with the good right?
3. What if they are alone and no one around them is to help?
4. You cant keep a daughter/son uneducated to take care of you, they have their own life as well.
Callous- Now why callous? The thought that when you are 60 or more and you can live by yourself is callous in my opinion cause you will get used to it. You find everything is as it is, not been touched or moved but that is not the real world.
When you turn 70 you will feel you need help with certain things and then you will start asking or maybe your own kid might start asking for you to come and stay with them.
Since you are used to such a life in which everything is according to you, you have to go to a place
which could be smaller: In big cities people cant afford really big houses, they sometimes live in nugatory apartments
Meet the in-laws: Now you are not going to live only with your kid, it will be his kids and his wife. After living for lets say several years alone with her hubby and kids she has all the things her way as you had your own. Since its her house you will have to compromise. Do you like it? Nothing wrong in compromising but most of the times people who had a great relationship is ruined when they live together. Are you ready to mess up with the most important person in your kids life?
Solution- Well its not a solution its just my thoughts that maybe we can use that much space, resources and facilities to make an old home where our parents who took care of us are taken care of.
We can have cordial relations, no one is a burden on each other, where we are assured that there are many volunteers and workers who are ready to take care of them.
There are always cons isnt it? I know that sometimes in old homes parents are treated really very poorly there are many reports that will confirm this. My reply is, is living with a family where their main protagonist doesnt like you makes its any more interesting? Plus would you feel good if your kid is burdened by you cause he has to juggle between a demanding job, wife, kids and now you.
The way there is a time for a kid to go to school, a time for a son or daughter to move out to chase their dreams I think as parents it is our job to make sure the dignity and the pride which we always had and strived for be retained: move to an old home.