The days of Bridget Jones and crying into tubs of ice-cream is a thing of the past. You happily married, coupled-up or "locked down" types have no idea what is happening over this side of the bridge. Online dating has not only become the easiest way to find a partner, mistress or quick shag, it's also an ideal way to fill the social calendar.
The New York Singleton has a suite of apps guaranteed to suit all tastes;
1. The classic yet traditional Tinder - for the quick match and easy hook up.
2. For the more serious daters there is Bumble. Matches on this app ain't going anywhere unless the girl takes the reins and writes the first message. No time wasting confidence boosters here!
3. The matchmaker HelloCupid removes the painstaking effort of trawling photos: simply answer a few questions and let the app suggest your next prey. By 'a few questions' I mean 100 plus. Sure it will take more than a lunch break to complete, but at least you will be upfront about preferred sex positions and how emotionally distraught you are from your last relationship.
4. For the romantics there is Happn. Expose your location to complete strangers and 'bump into' your life partner.
5. Align is made for the 21st Century Flower Children. If you are sick of making your own choices or merely overwhelmed by the constant stream of potential candidates, fill in your date of birth and let your horoscope do the work - simple!
6. For the gym junky there is Sweatt. This little dating tool is a Crossfitter's dream! Filter by preferred workout, body type, favored exercise time, sessions per week and of course, diet. There is a Paleo for every vegan!
7. For the hipster-hungry woman they have created Bristlr. No need turn to HBO for an evening with Jon Snow, Bristlr has collected all of New York's bearded bachelors in one place.
8. Hinge calls itself the 'Old Fashioned' dating app. This guy uses good ol' fashioned Facebook to suggest hook ups with friends of friends. Because the only thing better than a bad blind date, is your whole friendship group knowing about it.
9. The League is New York's most prestigious (or pretentious) dating app. This one is for Bankers, Lawyers and Ivy League Grads only. No Facebook sign in here. League players queue up for their LinkedIn profile to be assessed before jumping into a frenzy of Hampton Pool parties and Alumni orgies.
Download these puppies and you'll find yourself booked out til Christmas with coffee dates, lunch dates, drink dates, opera dates, work-out dates, walks in Central Park, snow shoveling rendez-vous....you name it. New York has 8 million people and more dating apps than workdays. If you date by the golden rule that 'They Will Only Look Half As Good As Their Best Picture' there will be a line outside your door longer than Trader Joes on a Sunday.
New York's growing population enables even the pickiest singleton a night out. And a night out is often all it is. New York City can be one of the loneliest places in the world. While everyone is polite and generally courteous, residents have a tendency to pretend that the other 7999999 people don't exist. I call it the 'Coping Method'. Beijing locals are born with a higher than average overcrowding threshold, but for many New Yorkers it's an acquired skill. When negotiating sidewalk traffic or jumping line at Starbucks it is just easier to pretend you're flying solo. Unless you are Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian or a really terrible busker it's hard get rise from anyone in Manhattan. Mindfully eliminating populace is an easy way to cope.
So what do you do in a faceless city? Lock down a stranger from the internet of course!! It might sound ridiculous but its no different than meeting someone at a bar. If fact you avoid the ghastly disco-pash and it's a hell of a lot more efficient.
- • Want to date your cousin's friends = Hinge.
- • Don't want to travel too far = Happn.
- • Want a hot bod without the Equinox fee = Sweatt
- • Got a thing for Polo Shirts = The League
- • After a New Aged Guy = Align
- • No time for chit chat = Tinder
- • Avoiding the Match.com fee = HelloCupid
- • Craving some Williamsburg action = Bristlr
See, it's wonderful! There is a 90 percent chance you will not fall for anyone because you are too busy organizing your next date. But hey it's New York, who has time for that anyway?!