Is That All You Got, Texas?

A federal judge on Tuesday struck down a key provision of Texas' new law requiring a doctor to perform a sonogram before an abortion, ruling that the measure violates the free speech rights of both doctors and patients.
- NY TIMES, 8/30/11

A sonogram? That's it?

Frankly, Texas, I'm embarrassed. That's the best you could do? A sonogram? You thought you could talk a woman out of a pregnancy with the emotional tug of an image that has all the clarity of a polaroid from a 1983 New Year's Eve party? I've had friends show me their sonogram pictures and thought I was looking at a moon-landing conspiracy pamphlet. Is that the baby's foot or is Neil Armstrong taking a leak off a lunar crater?

I mean, if you're going to guilt women into keeping their baby I think you need to raise the stakes a little higher than a Rorschach blot. Why stop there? Think of the possibilities!


A 23-year-old woman lies back as sonogram equipment slides along her mid-section.

YOUNG WOMAN: "I...I'm sorry doctor. The timing of it all. I just...I can't have this baby."

DOCTOR: "Of course. I understand. Now under state law, I'm legally obligated to show you this image of your unborn child.

YOUNG WOMAN: "Yes, I understand, but I've made my decision. If we could just..."

DOCTOR: "Hold on now, missy. If you'll just turn toward the monitor over there. This is your unborn child at six weeks. And we are at five years old!

CUT TO: Adorable five-year-old girl appears on monitor. Honey blonde, dimples for days. She's holding a Mother's Day card made out of crepe paper and macaroni shells.


DOCTOR: "And if you'll just stay with me here for a second. Hi-yo! Here we go. Looks like you've got a Prom Queen growing up in there.

CUT TO: A stunning 17-year-old waves to her royal court. Her obviously popular and very heterosexual boyfriend Chad at her side.

DOCTOR: "Oh my gosh, what's that in his hand? An engagement ring?!? Oh Chad, you didn't!!"

YOUNG WOMAN: "OK, I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves here. I'm actually due back in the office later today so..."

CUT TO: 38-year old "Kristie" getting sworn in as the first female President Of The United States Of America.

DOCTOR: "Look at you mouthing along the oath."

YOUNG WOMAN: "Seriously, I have to go. Do you validate parking?"

DOCTOR: "And here she is donating you a kidney. Wow, you're a lucky woman..."

CUT TO: Mother and Daughter on adjoining hospital beds, pre-surgery. Both give a courageous thumbs-up to camera.

YOUNG WOMAN: [speechless]

DOCTOR: "OK, that concludes our legal obligation. Oh wait, I almost forgot, Nurse Mary is printing out the wallet-sizes you are legally entitled to, and of course you can grab your statutorily-authorized World's Greatest Mom coffee mug out in reception."

Your move, Texas.