Dear Founders,
Guys, no offense, but this thing really could have been a little… well... better. You were so obsessed with preventing a monarchy or a demagogue that you failed to envision the nightmare scenario in which all 3 branches are occupied by evil men of the same party. Now what the hell are we going to do? Impeachment? Too slow. And how is impeachment going to happen under those circumstances?
So much for checks and balances. So now we’re stuck. Many thanks.
I can't blame you for the 25th Amendment because it wasn't your idea, but it too is nonsense. The Cabinet and Veep—all Presidential appointees---telling the Prez it’s time to go? Good luck with that.
If you were so terrified of a monarchy or a demagogue, wouldn't it have been wiser to figure out a faster way to get rid of him? Sheesh.
No women's suffrage? Seriously? Why? Because you thought women were too dumb? John Adams, your wife Abigail was smarter than you. And George, while you were off mostly losing battles, Martha kept the farm alive. Worst of all was you, Hamilton. Your spouse possessed a fine intellect, yet you had an affair with a conniving slut who blackmailed you. Not too bright. And Madison, your spouse, Dolley, was probably more intelligent than you. Certainly braver. Remember the War of 1812? You split D.C. while she stayed to save contents of the White House.
Life terms for Supreme Court Justices to ensure impartiality? Big mistake. Were you guys naive or what?
The Electoral College? Good idea but now it's a rubber stamp. Don't ask me how that even happened. Guess you didn't think the masses would be dumber today than they were then.
Line of succession? Not if the evil nominee picks an evil running mate, which is logical.
Guns? Don't get me started. The whole militia thing? Um…no. I know, it was just meant to be about muskets. But two of you guys--you know who you are--were inventors and surely you must have imagined some progress in that field.
Emancipate the slaves? Where’s that one? That would have been nice. A nonstarter obviously. You had to placate the South. Wimps.
An Electoral College tie? House elects the Prez; Senate elects the Veep. Seriously, what were you thinking?
Nothing about holding another election if the first one was somehow illegal? Like now.
No time limit for the Senate to approve a Supreme Court nominee? Guess you never anticipated stalling. Dunce caps all around.
Separation of church and state? Not if all 3 branches are made up of sanctimonious Bible-thumpers. But nice try.
Freedom of speech, the press and the right of assembly? Hanging on by a thread. Worked pretty well for a while though. No telling what the Satans of D.C. will do with those. Good name for a rock band though.