I've always been very skeptical of the concept of "the one": a single person that is destined, by the stars, or God, or whatever higher power you might believe in, to be your perfect partner. It's a concept that seems overly romantic and impractical given the state of dating today. Most singles would agree that when there is a smorgasbord of options available to you at the swipe of a finger, why commit to one person -- let alone wait for one pre-ordained person to appear in your life to complete your fairy tale? Add a healthy dose of cynicism to the dating experience (which is a normal state of being for someone with my dating history) and the concept of "the one" seems as antiquated as chaperones and dance cards.
So, what happens when you meet someone that makes you challenge that belief; someone who makes you wonder if all the romantic notions that your friends have been spewing might be true after all?
A few weeks ago, I was in Bali and had given up on the idea of dating. I was still on Tinder, mostly as something to do when I was bored. I ended up matching with a hot Australian who had a very clever profile blurb (which as all women on Tinder know, makes him a very rare and intelligent candidate because most guys don't even bother). We chatted for a day or two until I found out that he was in town with his two kids and couldn't leave them alone at the hotel -- which, I'm sure, makes perfect sense to those readers who have kids but to single, childless me, it seemed a little silly. I mean, why go on Tinder if you can't actually meet anyone that you match with?
But we kept chatting and eventually, I agreed to meet him at his hotel after his kids had gone to bed. Unlike most guys that I had dated in the past, he was funny and charming and very genuine. I didn't feel like I was being played or like he was just trying to get in my pants, even though he was only in town for a short time.
The night was a resounding success... the only thing better than the phenomenal view of the ocean was the conversation that we had, almost non-stop until 4 a.m.. Shortly after, he invited me to meet his children, a step that terrified me (if I'm going to be perfectly honest). I've always been very vocal about the fact that I am not kid-friendly and that I never want to have a baby of my own. In fact, I've even spent a lot of time talking about how I would never, ever date a guy who has kids. Well, never say never...
The next day, I met his two sons and they were hilarious, energetic and engaging -- amazing, to say the least! I realized that I was willing to put aside my rules and that I would actually enjoy spending more time with them.
Fast-forward two weeks and the Australian is now my boyfriend, officially. I'm living with him in Australia, spending time with his friends and family, who have made me feel so welcome in such a short time. I feel so comfortable around him -- comfortable enough to speak my mind openly and honestly no matter the subject, comfortable enough to share secrets with him that I don't tell many other people, comfortable enough to really be me. We're making long-term plans.
Things have fallen into place in a way that I have never experienced before. Normally when you want something to work, there are a million and one obstacles preventing it from happening. Be it family, friends, emotional baggage or geography, relationships -- especially when traveling the world, as I have been for the past six months -- never work out the way that you want them to. But this time, it has.
While I'm leaving Australia next week to return to Bali and then heading to Toronto for a short visit, I have already booked a ticket to come back to Australia in a few short weeks -- this time for three months -- so that we can spend more time exploring the relationship that we have developed.
Through this experience, I've realized one important FACT: While my relationship may or may not have been preordained by the stars, I know that I have met someone who makes me believe in the possibility of true love and gives me hope for a better tomorrow. Even if the stars don't agree, I know that my Australian and I have something very special, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what the future will hold for the four of us, as a family.