No man, no old flame; just me and old me...
You might have heard the saying that prayer is asking, and meditation is listening. That’s a great way to think of it. And yet, a prayer doesn’t have to be about asking, it can be about thanking. And, meditation doesn’t have to be about listening, it can just be about creating space. (Space—the lack of thought—opens us to ‘inspired thought.’) Perhaps a song can be a prayer, or an answer to one.
Sometimes, when I’m alone, I talk out loud to the whole of Life—the omnipresent force that you might call, God.
The other day I said out loud to Life, "I sometimes find it hard to believe that I deserve all of the good things that are happening in my life lately. I have difficulty trusting that it won't all just disappear and turn to shit again. It's hard to forgive myself for things that I've done in my past, the time that I had wasted, what I put my former self through. Sometimes I feel guilty for the happiness that I feel today, when the person that I was before had hurt and been hurt so much. It's strange to let go of the fight. I am now choosing forgiveness, fulfillment, and success in my purpose. Please show me a sign that I am worthy, and that if I fully embrace who I am today, that I'm not abandoning the girl that I had been who had suffered so greatly."
Then I mentally moved on. I let it go and gave it up to Life to sort out. I put my Apple earbuds on, queued up my favorite music station, and left for my morning exercise routine.
The very first song that played was one that I know well and must have listened to a thousand times. And yet, I had always visualized it speaking to a romanic relationship, an old flame. I’ve watched the video too.
Still, I had never thought of its story in any other way than the way that Adele had likely written it (or, maybe not), to a former boyfriend. Until this day, when I heard these words, from a completely new perspective—no man, no old flame; just me and old me…
Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healing
Hello, can you hear me
I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There’s such a difference between us
And a million miles
Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore
Hello, how are you?
It’s so typical of me to talk about myself I’m sorry
I hope that you’re well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened
It’s no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time
So hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore
