Have you always wanted to be in a relationship and you finally find a partner but it seems as if you are being lured along a game and you cannot seem to make meaning of what is happening?
Breadcrumbing, according to the Urban Dictionary is defined as: The act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (i.e. "breadcrumbs") to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.
It is subtler to ghosting.
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Your partner makes contact but with short (cold) text messages. Making minimal effort in communicating with you and barely responding to your replies or responds with a word or two.
- Your partner shows mysterious patterns that leaves you worried. He or she may be around for a few days and gone for 2-3 weeks because they are seeing multiple patterns and likely playing the same game with each person involved.
- Your partner resurfaces in the middle of the night and wants to chat via text, WhatsApp or Facebook messenger. This is to arouse your emotions and further drag you along the game. The intentions of the breadcrumber is to make you think that there is a potential future for your relationship when there is actually no relationship. The breadcrumber is not ready for commitment but returns when bored with other partners he or she may have.
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The breadcrumber will sometimes make you feel guilty when you express your feelings about their disappearing act. He or she may make you apologize and you may find yourself defending this behavior. Be aware of this and never make it a duty to defend their actions. Call it quits and do not get sidetracked by his or her behavior. If you wish to confirm whether your partner is one, send a non-emotional respond to their message to make them realize you are not attached and no longer interested in the game.
Read this: Falling in Love vs. Loving Someone
This article was originally published on Kemi’s website.
About Kemi Sogunle
Kemi Sogunle is a certified professional coach (life and relationship expert), international speaker and multi-award-winning author. Kemi'smission in life is to support single men and women who are ready, to find who they are after a broken relationship or divorce, heal from their painful past experiences, learn to love themselves and develop positive and healthier relationship habits that will make their lives become better not bitter.
· Love, Sex, Lies and Reality
· Being Single: A State for the Fragile Heart
· Beyond the Pain