I touched base with one of my coaching colleagues today and the subject of the fear of repeating the past came up. It got me thinking about how many times people limit their potential because of this.
I asked Paul Farmer from Mentoris Coaching to send me his thoughts, and this is what he shared:
Sometimes things that happen in the past hold you back from experiencing the extraordinary. Sometimes you want to move forward, but the fear of the same old thing happening again prevents you from taking the first step.
We all have our own experiences that have contributed to us becoming the people we are today. These experiences can be either positive (resourceful) or negative (unresourceful), each bringing different outcomes and behaviours.
We all love positive experiences (well I know I do anyway) and strive to have as many of these as possible in our daily routines. Whether it be the activities we do, the people we hang out with, fun and happy times add to our lives.
What about where the events have an unresourceful impact. Think about something in your life and ask the following questions:
1. Does the negative meaning I choose to give this experience have to be the same as it is currently?
2. Can I choose to change the meaning I give it?
3. What would things look like if I was to choose a resourceful meaning?
Growing up I believed that I had to get everything right (yes I was a perfectionist) and it wasn't finished until it was perfect. I loved the feeling of "perfect all the time."
By needing to get things 100 percent correct 100 percent of the time, it also meant that there was pressure to ensure everything was perfect before things were finished. As activities became more & more complex, this pressure and expectation built and meant things were triple checked before being finished.
But do things have to be 100 percent correct 100 percent of the time? Do we make mistakes and DOES THE WORLD STOP SPINNING IF EVERYTHING ISN'T PERFECT?
No... So what's it going to be?
Take a look at some of those areas where you have been holding yourself back and ask, "If I change my focus, will the negative outcome happen again, or can I choose a different option that helps me grow and drives me forward?"Paul Farmer - www.mentoriscoaching.com