It Happens To All Of Us

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Happy New Year! I’m always excited about January. January brings a new beginning! Everything is possible! New promises and new objectives are promised to ourselves. A clean slate! I can’t wait to get at it! Get off the sugar kick, get rid of carbs and step up the cardio. I know, I say the same every year but every year I believe myself.

The last couple of times I spoke, I have had men come up to me and say. “You, know we are aging too! Why don’t you talk about us? Well, of course it’s true! We are all aging from the day we are born, men and women. I always thought men had an easier time with it but I see it is tough for them in different ways! I thought the top problem for men would be the loss of their identity once they stopped working in their field. Now in retirement, it is time for them to find another source of identity. In their old lives, they had assistants to do their phoning and their planning. They had co-workers to ask questions of and plan out projects with. Now they are in a foreign land, alone, and expected to do all this themselves. It’s difficult. Because we are living longer they need to find new passions, new ways to express themselves and do it without any help.

My husband gave me his list of things that bothered him about aging and I loved it! He said as men grow older the inability to compete is one the hardest things to deal with in business and in sports! How profound! He misses his memory, (who doesn’t) the ease to drive at night, and get this, put on his socks,!!(not easy , with a back problem). Unfortunately for all of us we need to accept and adjust and move on.

We women, find aging a little bit easier in those departments. We have other worries. We have always known we have to keep our minds active to keep up. We know we must find firsts to stay relevant! We need to have empathy for men with the losses age brings them.

​Firsts are hard to find in your 70's, 80's and 90's but they are there and they are really necessary! ​

I started Tai Chi last year for the first time. My husband started Pilates. Both firsts. I spoke to a group in SB and I heard a 92 year old woman started Yoga. Also at that same talk there was a couple that had just married. Both were 89. That may not have been the first time they got married but it certainly was the first time they got married at that age. The point is you are never too old to look and follow a dream of yours

​I find there are four simple rules to live in a Healthspan instead of a Lifespan for both men and women; Exercise, keep your brain active, Eat well, and stay socialized!

To stay socialized is just as important as eating the right foods. That’s why married people stay alive longer than single people (or maybe it just seems longer). If you don’t have a significant other or family in your life, keep friends nearby and see them for a lunch, a walk, or dinner. After all is said and done, a laugh between friends is the best medicine for men and women alike. ​Let’s help each other in this new territory we have found ourselves, with love , empathy and above all, humor!​​