I stole that title from Spike Lee.
It’s a line from his jazz movie, Mo’ Better Blues, offered up by the womanizing protag, very convincingly played by Denzel Washington.
“It’s a dick thang,” he tells one of his jealous loves, who has just called him on his shit.
In his eyes, the case is closed.
And unfortunately, in our and many other societies around the globe, there are millions of men — and women — who either openly or tacitly agree with him. We saw that when our very own president admitted to pussy grabbing and more, on camera, just before the 2016 election.
It was dubbed “locker room talk.” Female Trump fans made t-shirts imploring their idol to grab their pussies.
And he’s in the White House now. We let that happen. We told the world that what he did was okay with us.
So why are we so damned shocked about Harvey?
Oh, of course I know why. The point I’m making is that we haven’t dealt with sexism any better than we’ve dealt with racism in this country yet. And BTW, in Hollywood — gasp — some men get chased around that casting couch, too, people.
But we’re not even ready to go there.
When Ben Affleck condemned Weinstein and got called out himself almost immediately after, I shook my head and chuckled. The boob tweak he was accused of is just one of the “little” things some guys do without even thinking.
They grow up believing a girl’s body is a “wonderland.” (“Use my hands,” John Mayer sings, in that song about all that.) And that’s true, thank you very much. But we should get to say whose hands and when and where.
Too often, we don’t.
And we get “compliments” that aren’t. We get “teased” about things that we shouldn’t. And many of us have learned to swallow hard and keep on steppin’, because all too often, when we fight back, we’re told we’re too sensitive, too bitter — we’re one of those “damned feminists” who just hate men, period.
Go to your boss, to Human Resources about being harassed and the ripple effect and retaliation, though illegal, can be devastating nonetheless.
Seriously, what were the water cooler discussions about that Cam Newton moment like where you work? How many guys — and women — thought it was blown out of proportion or that Cam was really giving that “female” reporter “props,” and not being patronizing as hell?
Oh, I know. You don’t even have to tell me. See, I am a Black woman, too. Double trouble.
Brown sugar. Hot chocolate. Born to please. Or so I’ve been told. Way too often. All my life. All over the bloody world, in fact. Most notably in Paris where some guy walked up behind me while I was window shopping and “probed” me in places I didn’t even know I had.
And the gendarme I ran to offered only a slick smile and the suggestion that, “Well, isn’t that what you girls like?”
This is a job for Superman, people. That’s how huge.
Are we ready for this? Really ready?
I mean, y’all still dealin’ with the idea that Black lives matter. And now we got to care about women, too?
Wow. Hurricane Harvey’s about to wreak some serious havoc.
I hope.
This post first appeared at Medium
Photo credit: By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=11569451