It's Good To Be King (Trump)

The king and his retinue have departed the nation’s capital and arrived at their royal vacation retreat, Castle Mar-a-Lago. There the royal family will gather to celebrate the holiday season with wealthy dukes and duchesses who will loyally and unabashedly express their overwhelming adulation for their divine leader and his unsurpassed brilliance.

Fawning over their great leader seems especially appropriate for them this holiday weekend. The king from Queens had just signed a tax bill that will give millions of dollars in tax breaks to his royal highness and members of the royal family, as well as to the nation’s lords and ladies. Of course, the vast majority of the citizens will receive crumbs, which will become apparent to them in the coming years. All of this will be funded by huge deficits that will be passed on to their children. Or by massive cuts in entitlement programs, long sought after by Republicans, which the king, of course, had promised not to cut.

Shortly following the passage of the tax bill last week, his royal highness was besieged with unparalleled praise from Republican members of Congress, and from his cabinet. “You have spurred an optimism in this country that is setting records,” said the vice president. They all know the king must receive devotion and fealty from those who serve him.

But that optimism is limited to only a few. The king is not popular among his country’s masses. He has continuously resorted to bullying and bluster to rule his subjects. He has demeaned opponents with schoolyard epithets, and he has humiliated others in order to get what he wants. His daily rants and raves have unsettled even those closest to him.

All of this has been to the delight of the tsar of Russia, who up until recently was considered an enemy. Now the king and the tsar have formed a close bond. And the tsar is certainly pleased with how the king has disrupted democracy in his own country and around the world. This is why he extended the king his help in winning the throne last November. These men are so much alike. And the king trusts the tsar far more than the servants in his own nation’s justice and intelligence departments, which he regularly disparages.

Many thoughtful citizens are saddened by how the King has lowered the standards of his office. They point to his self-dealing and manifest crudeness. They cite the many scandals that have plagued his reign, his outrageous actions towards women and minorities, and the constant dishonesty and deception that the king has practiced. His intemperate, impulsive and reckless behavior has shaken global allies, roiled the world order, and it has unnecessarily stirred the drums of war. The king exploits fear naturally. His instinct is always to divide in order to conquer.

Many of his most ardent supporters will gather in Castle Mar-a-Lago this weekend to celebrate the holiday by kissing the ring of their great benefactor. The dark clouds that have formed over his royal highness and his reign will be ignored. Instead, it will be a scene reminiscent of the Romanov’s. And the king will thrive in this exclusive compound, and in the alternate reality he has created for himself, as he soaks up the praise that will be lavished on him by his obsequious followers.

The king, a rock-n-roll fan, can no doubt identify with the words of the late Tom Petty, “It’s good to be king and have your own way.”