It's Time for President Obama to Eat in Cuba

Hopefully the Cubans won't try to feed President Obama their take on American food because the Cuban take on American food shouldn't be a thing.

If they commit such an injustice however, here is how the President can recover his Cubanidad and eat semi-authentically in Cuba:

1.) Coffee at Café El Escorial in Plaza Vieja. Ok this place is a little touristy and probably not totally Cuban but Cubans do their coffee right and for a first timer in Cuba, Café El Escorial is a perfect spot to enjoy all that is right about Cuba.
2.) Pastelitos de guayaba from La Horchatería in Old Havana. Get them with cheese.
3.) Lunch in una cajita from one of the street vendors near the University of Havana. Las cajitas are cardboard boxes, sometimes white sometimes various shades of brown--always filled to the brim with rice, beans and greasy Cuban meat. The joy of the cajita is trying to figure out how to eat the rice, the beans and the greasy Cuban meat without a fork, spoon or knife.
4.) Wait in line at the Coppelia. Because if you're not waiting in an hour long line for anything and ice cream, well then, you're not being Cuban.
5.) Buy Turron de Mani with Cuban pesos from one of the street markets and bring some home for me.
6.) Dinner at La Guarida. Order the watermelon gazpacho and don't worry about the staircase--I promise it won't crumble.
7.) Drink mojitos at La Catedral. They're the best and cheapest in Havana. Plus afterwards, you can walk along the Malécon, which is what you should be doing the entire time if you're not going to completely and 100% normalize diplomatic relations.
8.) Early morning coffee from the vendor across the street from the back entrance to the University of Havana. And when you return to campus, buy pastelitos from one of the ladies on the second floor.
9.) Lunch at the Paladar Calle 10 in Miramar. It's an original.
10.) Afternoon guarapo frio on Simon Bolivar-right next to el capitolio.
11.) Haven't completely and 100% normalized diplomatic relations yet? Go back to Coppelia and wait in line. I told you, if you're not waiting in a line, you're not being Cuban.
12.) Enjoy the Creole/Cuban dinner at La California en Central Havana. And while you're there, you might as well dance. After all, you are President Obama and you probably won't receive the criminal penalty for violating the embargo by having a little fun on an island called, Cuba.