Do you ever find yourself in a trance while using your phone? Scrolling for hours through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram? Are you constantly on Snapchat viewing everyone's stories, while re-taking a picture of yourself five times trying to send the perfect selfie to someone? Does it make you feel good inside to post your accomplishments, and receive praise for them? Do you also find yourself reading any bad comments people have said about you? Do you find yourself depressed because you know your life isn't as great as it seems online, while having to watch everyone else brag about theirs? Are there more hours of the day spent talking to your friends online, than actually talking to your friends? If you agree with any of these questions, then you're just like me.
I am a Millennial. I grew up in the Digital Age. I am part of this "Next Generation", and apparently, we are supposed to be better than we ever have been as a society. I'm not sure about any of you, but I am confused as to when this is supposed to happen? We do have the ability to change the way the world works, but this generation, from my experience, is a generation in which we stare at a phone screen more than we sleep. A generation in which we are more worried about gaining followers, than gaining knowledge.
I am obviously a part of that. To me, validation from social media has been like a drug that I am addicted to. It's always been that way for me. When I see my friends together without me online, I feel left out. When none of my many random Facebook friends put "Happy Birthday" on my wall, I feel like nobody cares. My chase for attention has always led me down a road to disappointment. But that's the issue isn't it? I was using social media as an outlet for my real world problems. Family drama? Vent on social media. Depressed? Make sure you post it in detail so people can cheer you up. Want compliments? Post a picture of yourself so people will like it. My dependence on media has been ruining my relationships, my gym time, my driving, and basically all other productive activities I should be doing.
Crucial parts of my past depression, although not ignited by social media, were definitely fueled by it. I used to be a victim of self mutilation. An issue that I have since overcome, would often be triggered by something I saw online that would upset me. That's a story for another time. Another time I remember was when that depression got so bad in 2014 that I had to stay in the hospital for a few days. (Also a story for another time). Being so involved in social media made me care more about what I would look like after that. I remember making sure that I got a selfie with my best friend Josh, who had gone with me, before I went up to my room. I really focused more on a selfie to post, than what I was actually going through? And in the hospital, I craved my cell phone, and every time i used the bathroom I thought that the lighting was perfect on my hair.
I feel that we, as this generation, could blame social media for many things. Some of those things are good, but I do feel that the bad outweighs the good,especially when it comes to relationships, at least in my case. How many people reading this remember being young, and in love? I remember how personal and intimate falling in love was. And I did it by literally meeting a girl outside because she offered to buy me a peach soda at school. I remember passing the notes sprayed with perfume. I remember spending time with her family and friends, actually doing things. Yes there were phones and Myspace, but I don't ever recall anybody around me being a slave to it. I feel bad that people today are trying to find love on things like Tinder. Even my boyfriend now, first met me by serving me a drink at the bar, and then the social media stuff came. It was real life, not an app. We hung out and fell in love. I would never change a thing about our relationship,except maybe lower our cell phone usage. My point is, even the real, intimate experience of falling in love is going away it seems. Some of us get lucky enough to experience it though like i have twice now.
Even today, I miss out on real social experiences because of "social" media. It is hard when you're sitting at a table, and nobody is talking, but still texting each other. At the same table. I joke on twitter about my adderall prescription, when in reality, ADD is a real disorder I have. Why am I posting it for people to see? I have tried to get off of my social media apps many times, and always get dragged back in. But why? Why do I constantly need people to know my life? The answer: I don't. Today I am trying this again. I've cut my Facebook down to friends and family only, and I've abandoned my Twitter and Instagram. Snapchat is non-existent. I need to remember that I live in a great city, with a lot of people, and even more things to do. I hope that I can stay offline other than to do normal productive things, like this blog, or actually reading new information. Maybe I will get others to understand where I'm coming from. Right now I am going to focus on a life without followers or retweets, because I wasn't born a robot for a reason. I was born a human, that should physically express feeling and not as a status update.