We so do not envy Jennifer Garner right now.
The actress appeared on "The Tonight Show" Wednesday and opened up to host Jimmy Fallon about her custom Versace torture device Oscars gown, which was so tight that her ribs had a "panic attack." Yeah, sounds terrible.
"Do you know how they make it? See how I have a waist right there? I don't have one in real life anymore," she joked to Fallon. "What they do is they move your organs around. There are basically two men who come in with screw guns, and they screwed me into a metal corset -- this isn't true, but it was a metal corset and it did take two Italian people. The next thing you know, my ribs were compressed."
Oh, it gets worse.
When Fallon asked if the corset was like Spanx, the "Miracles From Heaven" actress responded, "No, dude! It's not like that. It's so intense!"
"It's very intense. It's not like Scarlett O'Hara. There's metal inside, and these people just kind of move your ribs and they move your liver out of the side and they pop you in," she continued. There's also a thong bodysuit involved.
Sounds horrible, right? It gets even worse.
While Garner was sitting down, she said that her muscles started spasming in the dress, making it hard to breathe. But her date for the night -- one of her best girlfriends -- wouldn't let her stand up to leave, so as to prevent an unintentional Kanye West-like scene.
Then came time for the bathroom, which was obviously an epic struggle in her gown. She enlisted her BFF to help her get free enough from the dress to pee, but it wasn't easy.
"It's not pretty ... It's worse than a toddler in a snowsuit because of the bodysuit. Do you see what I'm saying?" she said, laughing throughout the story. "The connection of the bodysuit, because it had a hook-and-eye situation, was in an intimate position. It was, like, in my vageen, OK?"
Like we said, we do not envy her at all. (Though the fact that she said "vageen" does make us love her more.)
Watch the whole clip above.