He will not clean the pelicans, or turn fishes into loaves, or even present a very nice prostitute.
President Barack Obama will address the nation from the Oval Office tonight - explaining, again, how the Government is dealing with the national tragedy of the BP oil spill.
For those looking for a Jesus-like resurrection of the Gulf, exhale. It's not going to happen. (At least not for years.)
And for those that always thought Obama was not the right guy for the White House, you will also be disappointed.
The reality of this Presidency is that neither magic, rhetoric or adulation drive policy. This is a President who is deadly serious - a grown-up in a time of crisis.
And, if White House insider leaks are correct, Obama intends to use this horrible moment as an opportunity.
Expect to hear this evening from the Oval the beginning of a new and real national energy policy.
And while we don't yet know the details of this plan, we can certainly hope that the gigantic cloud of toxic petroleum spreading through our pristine beaches, killing nature and man's livelihood with its oleous plumes, is understood to be the ultimate warning sign that our oil addiction is literally killing us.
If we don't actually act on this warning, take it seriously enough to fundamentally alter our energy consumption, we may just need Jesus back - to resurrect the planet.