The presidential election isn't for a few weeks, but if a professional dog poop scooper is correct, Mitt Romney is going to win in the end, "litterally."
Jim Coniglione is the owner of Scoopy Doo, a dog poop collection service in Long Island, N.Y., and he predicts a win for Romney for a very peculiar reason: The majority of dog poop he's picking up looks like the former Massachusetts governor.
"I think it's because of the economy. People are giving their dogs cheaper dog food and the dogs are producing more 'product,' and that looks more like Romney," Coniglione told The Huffington Post.
The economy was worse in 2008, but Coniglione claims people were still using better-quality dog food back then and those created little loads that were more likely to resemble Barack Obama than his contender, John McCain.
Coniglione's poop poll is very likely a bunch of B.S. based on the two photos of dog doo he submitted for careful scrutiny by HuffPost staff. Neither one looks like either presidential candidate, even if one applies the concept of "pariedolia," the method that humans use to assign meaning to patterns that are actually just "visual noise."
Still, Coniglione, a self-proclaimed "Turd Whisperer," claims he's been able to correctly predict the winners of the 2000, 2004 and 2008 elections using the poop predictor and said based on his close study of his clients' dogs' doodoo, Romney has a 66 percent -- or "two turds" -- chance of winning.
He also insists that he is completely impartial and "a-poo-litical" regarding the pending election and isn't favoring one candidate over another.
"Hey, I think both candidates are crap, but that's another story," he said.
CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story printed Jim Coniglione's name as Jim Castiglione.