COLUMBUS, OHIO (The Borowitz Report) -- As experts from around the country have been offering suggestions to plug the massive oil leak in the Gulf, one voice has been conspicuously silent about the leak: Samuel Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Plumber.
While Mr. Wurzelbacher was known for being outspoken about tax policy and other matters during the 2008 campaign, he has been surprisingly tight-lipped about the leak, supposedly his area of professional expertise.
"Joe the Plumber is an expert about everything, apparently, with the exception of plumbing," said a local rival, Moe the Plumber.
Perhaps in response to Moe the Plumber's criticism, a spokesman for Mr. Wurzelbacher released the following statement: "Joe the Plumber stands ready and willing to address the leak, but it will cost $150 for the service call and parts and labor are extra." More here.