John Boehner Is Now Upset That The Health Care Bill Isn't Long Enough

Way back in October of 2009, John Boehner was often seen trooping from photo op to photo op with the House health care reform bill, complaining that it was way too long to read:

He so loved toting that thing around! In actuality, if you were to eliminate the non-substantive parts of that bill and allow for Congress's unique typesetting style, the bill was no longer than J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", a book that small children typically prove able to read over a weekend.

Now, the White House has offered up their own health care proposal which, in the form in which it was distributed, is only 11 pages -- which is less than the average Highlights magazine, which small children typically prove able to read whilst waiting for their appointments with the dental hygienist. Naturally, now the bill is so short that he cannot wield it as a prop, to bang on at lecterns, endlessly. Per Rachel Slajda:

A spokesman for House Minority Leader John Boehner today ridiculed President Obama's health care proposal because it's too short.

"The White House's 'plan' consists of an 11-page outline, which has not been scored by the Congressional Budget Office or posted online as legislative text. So they want to reorganize one-sixth of the United States' economy with a document shorter than a comic book, and they're complaining that they can't find our plan on their own website? C'mon," said the spokesman, Michael Steel, in an email to reporters.

Why won't Barack Obama think about what sort of healthcare reform would be "just right," for Goldilocks?

At any rate, if you recall, Boehner was among those who wanted to go into the health care reform summit with a "blank sheet of paper." In that scenario, Boehner would probably look at the blank sheet of paper and complain about how it was satin-gloss instead of semi-gloss, the most freedomy of copy paper finishes.

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