John Mayer sat down with Best Life magazine for an interview, and revealed one of his constant companions: Xanax:
In his early twenties, however, something shifted inside that private little self-created world of his. He won't say exactly what happened, only that on one specific day, he realized that "you can create dark neighborhoods in your mind as easily as you can create rural wonderlands. And the day I realized that was one of the worst days of my life. It sent me on quite a spin. I went on a bender. An anxiety bender." Which is why he keeps Xanax in his pocket even now: "Because there are these incidental kinds of loopholes in my brain, where the wires can cross for a second and the hard drive crashes."
He also worries about finding a wife:
"I think about my wife all the time," says Mayer. "I kind of obsess on it, and what I want to find is a person who can speak those kinds of magic words. I mean 'No complaints' is a great way to live. Also, I want a woman who doesn't hear 'How are you?' as 'I would like you to come up with something dramatic now that will allow me to sit in front of you and give you more attention than I would have if you had just said 'No complaints.' When I find the person I can relate to on that level and who is also a pinup and who also says 'Can I please take pictures of your ass?' then I am going to get married to her. That I can promise you."
But there is one small hitch, and it bedevils Mayer day and night, because it's largely out of his control.
"My fear," he says, "is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say, 'I'm sorry, but I've got to say hello to you,' and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, 'Not for me, Bub. I don't want anything to do with you.' And she says that because of something in my past. I mean, I know how to be a celebrity. I know how to be a guy on the street. I know how to roll with the punches. I know how to do the whole thing. And my past is actually pretty sterling. But when I think about my wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in US Weekly. It's all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks."