John McCain Logic In Real Life

John McCain recently walked through a Baghdad market where he had tea and afterward declared that America wasn't getting the full story on all the good stuff that was happening in Iraq. One of the reasons for that is probably that it's not safe for journalists to leave their hotels. And also, many educated Iraqis have left Iraq. Further, freelance Iraqi journalists are afraid to work with westerners because they don't want to be beheaded by Iraqis or shot by American troops. The same for translators and those that really opened their arms to the Americans, as documented in George Packer's recent article in the New Yorker.

But what was really absurd, as everyone knows at this point, is that McCain traveled with 100 heavily armed soldiers, attack helicopters circling overhead. So yeah, the world's a safer place when you have your own mobile Green Zone. Every foot he walked in Baghdad (wearing a bullet proof vest) probably cost Americans $10,000 for security. Or more. If you need that much security, and a bullet proof vest, then things probably aren't going so well where you are. Hence, all the bad news out of Iraq.

I wonder what John McCain logic would look like in real life:

The millionaire walks in to a convenience store and proclaims to the clerk, "We are rich."
"Actually, I make minimum wage and I don't have health insurance," the clerk tells him.
"No," the millionaire insists. "I am rich, therefore you are rich." The millionaire buys a bottle of Gatorade, paying with exact change, and leaves.

The mayor walks into the Chicago Ida B. Wells housing projects and declares them safe.
"But three people were shot here yesterday," he's told.
"Where I live," he responds, "No one was shot yesterday."

I could go on this way. But it's not that funny. Honestly, I used to like John McCain. But the Straight Talk Express has driven off a cliff. This man is crazy and dangerous. We're not going to be able to do anything about the mess in Iraq without admitting that it is one and that invading was a horrible mistake.

- Stephen Elliott