COMEDY

John Oliver's Guide To Everything Students Need To Know

"Google 'Warren G. Harding penis named Jerry' right now.”

In many parts of the country, the conclusion of Labor Day weekend marks the start of the school year, and while "Last Week Tonight" was off for the holiday, host John Oliver recorded a video that has everything students really need to know

Sort of. 

In the four-minute YouTube clip, Oliver shares a bit of wisdom for each of the major subjects taught in school (and he tries to do it without swearing... but doesn't quite succeed).  

For American history: "Google 'Warren G. Harding penis named Jerry' right now,” Oliver advises, referring to the 29th president. "And you will not be disappointed."

Oliver also touches on world history, especially the European explorers and colonists. 

"Now, as adults, you will realize that these men were basically genocidal lunatics," he says. "But for now, enjoy thinking of them as thrilling adventurers and discoverers." 

Oliver manages to get around to math, biology, chemistry and English as well -- all within those four minutes -- and even has a "Guide To Who Dies At The End" for many of the books students will be assigned to read for class. 

Check it out in the clip above. 

 

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