The biggest scare at the beach this summer may not be riptides, jellyfish or sharks. According to John Oliver, it’s a small army of spooky, barnacle-encrusted baby dolls washing up on the shores of Texas.
“Last Week Tonight” was off for the holiday weekend, but Oliver released an online video warning about the eerie dolls:
“Burn them! Burn them now!” he exclaimed. “I hate those dolls! I hate them so much I am here talking to you about that in a week that we are off exclusively because I hate them!”
Just check out his reaction:
Oliver even warned viewers to stop watching the segment.
“At this point, I would advise you to leave. Get out of here,” he said. “Click out of this video and look up, I don’t know, an Architectural Digest tour of Jessica Alba’s third-most light-filled brownstone. Leave me here and never look back.”
Oliver did reach one inescapable conclusion: The dolls must be destroyed.
There might be a way: