Jon Stewart brought "The Daily Show" to Texas this week, and on Thursday night he tore apart the notion that the red state is turning blue.
“Texas has been a conservative state since dinosaurs roamed it 6,000 years ago," Stewart said. "At least, that date's according to the Texas state high school textbooks."
To make his point, Stewart looked at the candidates leading races across Texas, from statewide office to the district level.
Greg Abbott, who currently holds a commanding lead in the race for governor, once posted an ad on Facebook showing a photo of a gun and a Bible that read: "Two things every American should know how to use... neither of which are taught in schools."
Dan Patrick, the state's leading candidate for lieutenant governor, has backed teaching creationism in school, allowing guns on campuses, ending direct elections of U.S senators and outlawing all abortion.
“You couldn’t be redder than that guy if you took Clifford the Big Red Dog and shoved it into the Devil’s rectum,” Stewart declared. "That's as red as red can red."
So call Stewart skeptical that the state will be turning Democratic blue anytime soon.
"You poor bastards," Stewart concluded. "Democrats in Texas are like the drunk guy at the bar who won't stop hitting on a girl even though we know she's a lesbian."
BEFORE YOU GO
How to vote
Vote-by-mail ballot request deadline: Varies by state
For the Nov 3 election: States are making it easier for citizens to vote absentee by mail this year due to the coronavirus. Each state has its own rules for mail-in absentee voting. Visit your state election office website to find out if you can vote by mail.Get more information
In-person early voting dates: Varies by state
Sometimes circumstances make it hard or impossible for you to vote on Election Day. But your state may let you vote during a designated early voting period. You don't need an excuse to vote early. Visit your state election office website to find out whether they offer early voting.My Election Office
General Election: Nov 3, 2020
Polling hours on Election Day: Varies by state/localityMy Polling Place