Listening. The ability to listen to the experiences of others and articulate their stories cohesively and in a way that outsiders can understand is truly a rarity. It only comes innately to some. I’m always blown away by a person’s ability to tell stories beautifully, respectfully and uniquely.
Courage. Having the courage to live out your moral convictions is something many talk about but never truly accomplish because of the fear that drives them. When you come into contact with someone who has the courage to do what they said they would do it’s jarring and empowering all at the same time.
For these reasons I was drawn to the journey of Dearl Nelson, one American who decided not to board his plane back to the states from a wedding in Mexico once Trump officially took the presidential office. 100 days In Mexico.
Here is his story...
RM: What compelled you to start this journey in Mexico?
DN: Jeeze, lol. I have two brothers and we are all very close in age. I am the oldest. The middle brother was a football enthusiast growing up, idolized Randall Cunningham and wanted to play in the NFL; My youngest brother loved horses and trained with great passion everyday at equestrian sports. My parents were always very supportive and tried to make every dream of their sons a real possibility, even when limited with financial constraints. As a child I was what you may describe as ´corny´or ´square´, I had no passion for sports or games, I idolized Civil Rights leaders and dreamed of traveling to far-away lands and countries. Before bed each night my mother would read us a story, or sing us a lullaby and tuck us into our small twin beds. One night, before leaving the room she told my youngest brother to dream about riding the best horses in the world and Olympic Gold Medals, she told my middle brother to dream about throwing the winning pass in the Super Bowl, and probably stumped with me, she lovingly told me to dream about changing the world. I´ve never forgotten those instructions.
I went to Mexico to attend the wedding of a life-long friend the week before the U.S. inauguration. In attendance at the wedding were at least 200 educated, ambitious, and highly-successful Black Americans. I could not help but feel inspired by the collective power of this group, and motivated to live my life with more purpose. I truly believe in my ability and everyone´s ability, to impact our world in a positive way. I thought about how courageous our ancestral families had been through slavery, the Jim Crow south, the great migration, and the civil rights movement. I also thought about the courage my grandfather faced as a first-generation Italian immigrant and how my bi-raciality gave me access to two very different, but equally inspiring cultural legacies. I felt as though I could accomplish anything. As the week in Mexico passed and everyone else boarded planes to the U.S. I briefly watched the news the night before the inauguration and decided that I wouldn't board my flight. Instead I would try in my small way to resist and protest against what I believe in the core of my soul, to be wrong. So now here I am, looking for a short-term rental in Mexico, with nothing more than a suit I brought for the wedding and some swimming trunks!
RM: How do you come up with the premise for each story you wanted to tell?
DN: I´m always attracted to human interest stories. With no preparation and poor Spanish language skills, I approach people on the street and just try to start conversations. Google Translate has been a useful tool for communication, and although some people look at me strangely and walk away, most are receptive to talking with me and sharing their stories. I also choose to photograph the person first, before asking a few candid questions. I find that the process of photographing someone can quickly build a sense of trust and create an intimacy that makes talking to a stranger easier. I tend to limit my questions to 5 or 6 at most, and I use that information to tell their story in a way that will hopefully connect the audience in a very personal way.
RM: Out of the stories you've covered so far who has impacted you the most?
In Mexico there seems to be extreme poverty, but also extreme affluence. Almost every block has a laundry mat for wealthier locals and tourists to drop off clothes to be washed and folded. In my conversation with a woman who worked at one of these laundry facilities, Dayana, I learned that most of the women work 9am to 10pm washing clothes, 6 days a week. I began to notice the lack of hope in their expressions, the complete absence of smiles and the despair in their voices; they seem to feel trapped to a lifetime of servitude and isolation. On the day that millions of women around the world marched and protested to have their voices heard, I spent time talking to Dayana. I knew that her voice had been silenced for her entire life by her circumstances, and I wanted her to know that someone cared and was listening. She asked me to share with the world that she wanted to see an end to domestic violence against women. Our conversation was short because two minutes later, a dryer finished its cycle and clothes needed folding. For that brief moment, I hope that Dayana felt as though her voice and her mere existence mattered greatly, to me and so many others.
RM: What do you hope others will gain from the stories you are telling? Especially Americans?
DN: I´m finding that everyone is striving to fulfill an innate human desire to be happy, and to feel love-- when you simplify things to their most basic and most human component, we are all the same. I am hopeful that other people, especially Americans, will put aside negative stereotypes and truly see people who are different from themselves without interjecting fear or hatred. I want to create a climate of compassion and empathy, and remind Americans that we have so much to learn from our international neighbors and our immigrant population. I believe that our ability as a nation to show compassion is the truest test of our own moral integrity.
RM: I imagine in the first 100 days of the Trump administration much will happen to impact our relationships with other countries and in particular Mexico. What has the sentiment been so far for you as an American in Mexico?
DN: Most Mexicans are not happy with the outcome of our election. There seems to still be a sense of disbelief that the American people elected such a blatant bigot to The White House. I do believe that my reception as a person of color may be different than that of a White American.
I met a white woman from Manhattan yesterday in a local park. She spotted me and somehow immediately recognized that I was a New Yorker, so we chatted on a park bench about being American in Mexico. She told me that she has been coming to [Playa Del Carmen] Mexico for over 25 years and that within the last week she has been approached several times about the Trump presidency. For example, when she attempted to get the senior discount that she had received previously on a local ferry, she was told this time that the discount was not for Americans; In her local gym here, a receptionist told her that she now believes that all Americans are racist and her local Mexican friends have expressed concerns for her overall safety here. During the brief conversation I could not help but notice that as she complained about these nuisances she took no accountability as an American for the current climate. She complained about the corruption here, and the unsavory crowds that the recent international-music festival brought to town, and the lack of trees in the park where we sat. As pleasant as she was, and as good as her intentions were, I could not avoid being confronted with the sense of entitlement that she unknowingly exhibited. To come to their country and complain about their music, their parks, their political systems and her own feelings of being in danger around them, is uniquely American behavior. She shared with me that when she was confronted by the receptionist at her gym about Americans being racist, she cried because she felt that it was unfair of Mexicans to just ´lump all Americans together´as being the same. I politely asked her if she thought that Americans, especially White Americans, have been doing this same thing to Mexicans (and other Non-American cultures) for generations now. In that moment I could see in her expression that something clicked. We need to have more of those moments of self-reflection as Americans.
To support Dearl’s journey and cause check out his Go Fund Me page!