Welcome, people who hate sleep, to the Huffington Post live blog of JPMorgan Chase's second-quarter earnings conference call. As much fun as the morning after a meth binge, or so I have heard.
We'll be live-blogging this two-hour event, though maybe not for the entire two hours, as the call will likely drift into tedious analyst questions about minutiae. But we'll live-blog a good bit of it.
The bank earlier reported quarterly income of $5 billion, or $1.21 a share, with a $4.4 billion loss caused by dumb credit trades at its chief investment office.
Ordinarily you pre-game an event like this by consuming mass quantities of alcohol, or harder stuff, but it's 7:30 in the freaking morning, so instead enjoy reading some of these fine walkups to the call, won't you?
There's Deal Journal's David Benoit, who lists the five things he wants to hear on the call -- up high, as you'd expect, is the size of the London Whale trading loss and the size of the money that will be clawed back from Ina Drew and other scapegoats, er, responsible parties.
I'd like to hear those things, and then I'd also like to hear somebody at the bank talk about the PFG customer money they've got -- how much do they have? Is it all accounted for? Are they under investigation by anybody? Let's just say I'm not holding my breath on that one.
Maureen Farrell at CNN/Money suggests investors take a hard look at whatever profits the bank reports this morning, make sure they're not all prettied up with accounting tricks to hide the gigantic hole left by the London Whale.
Bloomberg's Dawn Kopecki suggests there's nothing less on the line here than Jamie Dimon's sterling reputation as a golden banker god sent from the Sun People to rule us all.
And now, on to the live blog.