I don't usually dread Mondays, I actually like getting back to work and this Monday looked glorious, I had a day free from any obligations and I was going to blast away at my "to do" list! Yum! Big things first.
#1
I've been working on a proposal for the government for the past week. It's EXTENSIVE -- 12 pages of instructions to make sure the contractors meet all the criteria. It started out as annoying as my company had the contract with courses set up for the fall/winter already. Then the government changed their protocol and decided it had to go out for a province wide bidding process. I hate details and this thing is just that -- DETAILED HELL! I shrivel up just thinking about it.
#2
Complete my blog from last week -- so easy, almost done.
#3
Do all kinds of little things once the "big frogs" are off the list.
My Monday was going to be epic! Almost as good as a Friday -- bring it!
UNTIL (insert Jaws soundtrack -- shark approaching skinny dipper moment)
I start trying to edit the PDF document -- a 17-PAGE contract.
Really?!? Can we sum this up in a few concise pages, I probably agreed to hand over my first born, I don't even care at this point, I didn't read that far.
I can not edit or remove what I am required to; I have no idea why. Some cosmic curse, clearly.
I have installed more programs than I knew existed, on my computer to aid me in my toil, but to no avail-I'm screwed. I start to have techy shame early on, which I try to soothe with the help of a piece of chocolate.
I get super frustrated and I try to move onto something I will be successful with-the blog
I click on my Word documents and its not there.
What? I was working on it before the weekend and I'm sure I saved it; it's not my first time to the "lost document party" after all.
I search EVERY WHERE! It's gone-gone!
The blog was fun and purposeful and I felt like it came out onto the key board like it was magic...well that magic is gone and here I am typing this out.
I then try to open an email and my whole computer freezes (most likely as a result of all my new unhelpful PDF converter programs no less).
The chocolate is all gone, and the song playing in the back ground is "Throw a farewell Kiss" by the Temptations. I'm not even joking-the universe's way of having a good laugh on my behalf.
SO what do I do?
I'm a big fan of an "I Can Plan" and what I can learn from big hairy messes. I don't always love when I have to drink my own medicine, but I am swigging it back this fine Monday morning.
At least that's the only thing I'm chugging back although having a glass of mid morning Pinot Noir may have crossed my mind at some point, but its not even noon and I DO have some boundaries.
My "I Can Plan" consisted of:
Not getting paralyzed by the road blocks by looking for ways around them. They're blocks, not the end of the road.
Asking for help. This is an ongoing theme of my life. I sent out a few texts and my friend was able to get the PDF converted by one of her coworkers -- there's an admin assistant out there that I want to give a big smooch. She saved my life!
Taking a break and focus on some tasks that you can get off your plate with ease.
Take a break; get a change of scenery (the inside of a pantry doesn't count)
Always have a stash of what brings you joy amidst stormy horizons -- I need to remember to keep a stash of chocolate -- running out amidst crisis can send one over the edge. Putting on some upbeat music maybe a better choice.
Practise self compassion -- bathe in it; douse yourself in a garden hose of it. You can be very successful and not understand every computer program or remember to save every file.
Talk to yourself like you would a friend. We all have a lot on our plates and we don't have to be perfect to bring the glorious work we are meant to bring to the world.
Find a way to be grateful -- there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for, if nothing else I found out the two Doritos work to soothe a cranky soul when the chocolate famine hits the home office. I'm working from my Kitchen table in my work out clothes -- I have tremendous freedom in my work, I really am so blessed.
Put it in perspective. So the blog goes out a week later than it should, does this really have much impact? No, no one really cares but me. If I don't make the proposal deadline, I would lose out on the chance of a $15,000 contract, but will I starve? No, I would feel a pinch, but I ultimately I would be ok. (Remind me of this if my company doesn't get the contract.)
Trust -- it's the cornerstone. Things may not go as planned or even turn out as I'd like but I can trust that you I will make things happen in other ways and maybe what I'm working so hard on isn't meant to be and it's giving way to something more delicious -- I'm game for that too.
In the meantime, I'm licking my morning's wounds, along with my chocolaty/Dorito dusted fingers -- trusting that there is always a way and I'm not going keep trying.