Just Like Jesse James: A Little Playlist for A Big Schmuck

Who knows what goes on between two people in this crazy world? Not I. But here's what I do know. I interviewed Sandra Bullock once, and she seemed lovely in every way. I've never met Jesse James, but he increasingly seems like one big schmuck in the worst possible way.

From this safe distance, Jesse appears to be a selfish guy guilty of thinking only about himself to a dangerous degree. And so as he seeks to recover from whatever the hell is wrong with him, here's a playlist that just might interest him because it's all about "Jesse." Because his actions seem so deeply thoughtless and idiotic, I've also included a few songs with the other spelling of "Jesse" - because who the hell can worry about spelling when you're busy with Nazi-dressing mistresses.

So if Sandra Bullock still loves the schmuck on some level still, I hope the man pulls himself together here. But to quote a memorably sensitive threat from Carly Simon's "Jesse" to a man who "cut out my heart like a paper doll," let me simply say this: "Jesse, I won't cut fresh flowers for you."

Here's my little playlist for a big schmuck:

JUST LIKE JESSE JAMES - Cher
I'M BAD LIKE JESSE JAMES - John Lee Hooker
JESSE - Carly Simon
JESSE JAMES - The Pogues
JESSE JAMES - Scarface
JESSE JAMES - Bruce Springsteen & The Sessions Band
FRANK AND JESSE JAMES - Warren Zevon
JESSE - Janis Ian
JESSIE'S GIRL - Rick Springfield
JESSE - Mason Profitt
JESSE JAMES - Clay Walker
WHISPERING JESSE - John Denver
JESSE - Russell Smith
SIMPLY JESSIE - Rex Smith
JESSIE - Joshua Kadison
BURNIN' BRIDGES - Jessie James
JESSE - Stephanie Mills
DEAR JESSIE - Madonna
JESSE - Joan Baez
JESSE JAMES - Ry Cooder
JESSE - Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel
JESSE JAMES - Woody Guthrie

Any other musical thoughts of support or ridicule out there for Jesse James?