Just Over Here Glorifying Obesity, Apparently

Just Over Here Glorifying Obesity, Apparently
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Like everyone else in a fat body that is helping other fat humans to feel beautiful, I constantly get accused of GLORIFYING OBESITY. The dregs of the internet love to harass my followers, customers and me. Because you know, I sell lingerie to fat humans and all. BLASPHEMY, I know. SEND ME TO THE DUNGEONS!

It’s so great over her in Glorifying Obesity Land! Join us. Trying to co-exist peacefully with other smaller humans is a party you do not want to miss. Being stripped of your humanity daily on the news as they do another story about the latest diet or the supposed “obesity epidemic” by showing fat headless bodies walking down the street is amazing. MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS!

Flying back home for an emergency or flying to go somewhere on vacation is fantastic, too! Everyone stares at you the moment you walk in the doors of the airport, almost like you are a celebrity. People whisper behind your back and once we all get on the airplane together, no one will make eye contact with you as you walk down the aisle. Oh that side eye is NOT to be missed. IT’S AS FUN AS A BARREL OF MONKEYS!

When your romantic partner is smaller than you, people say really awesome things like “wow, YOU really got lucky.” And they imply that when you are fat, you should settle for anyone that shows you any kind of romantic interest. Sometimes we even have family members who tell us we better lose weight or we will never “find a husband/wife.” SUCH A PARTY.

Going out to eat is a blast. The host or hostess at the restaurant just loves to try to cram you into a booth you clearly will never fit into, but they want you to try any way. Because you know, when you are in a restaurant it is so AMAZING to play musical tables and chairs while making a big scene where everyone in the restaurant is watching - until you find the one that is “just right.” GOOD TIMES FOR ALL!

Speaking of eating, it is also equally amusing when strangers in the grocery store stare into your basket and make random comments about the food you are buying. Bless their hearts! Total strangers are concerned about your diet. That is so heartwarming. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS!

It is really fabulous when you go to the mall in a fat body and find that only 3 of the 180 stores at your mall have clothes that come in your size. And, when you are beyond a size 26 you pretty much have to do all of your shopping online. Don’t forget all of the people staring and gawking at you as you walk by or dare to eat a corndog from Hot Dog on a Stick. I am telling you. Your head really does become big, because you truly are starting to feel like a celebrity. If you have mobility issues and need assistance from cane, walker or chair - strangers even take photos of you and post them on social media. GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING!

When you look for work and choose a career, you can expect to make less money than your other smaller colleagues and get passed over for promotions because of your size. Over a lifetime, you end up making a lot less money than your peers which then makes it difficult to pay your rent, buy clothes and get those amazing organic foods at the specialty market you hear so much about and are so good for you. IT’S ALL SO GREAT!

Ready to take a family vacation to an amusement park? Just wait until you get to do the walk of shame in front of our kids and all of the other people in line see the attendant tell you that you are too fat for their ride. GOOD TIMES WHEN YOUR KIDS START CRYING.

And, last but not least, when you post on your own social media smiling or talking about something fun you have done or a special outfit you love, total and complete strangers who have a fucking emoji as their profile pic will tell you all about the latest diets, nutrition and call you names like land whale and ham planet. In some cases they call you a fat cunt and tell you that you are better off dead than to exist in a fat body smiling and having fun. JOIN US!! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA!

So, yah, there is no effing way to GLORIFY OBESITY despite what the trolls accuse me of doing. It is no walk in the park existing in a fat body. But, my community and I will continue to walk with our heads held high, wear lots of sexy, revealing clothes, rock our lingerie and have lots of hot sex no matter how the haters try to shut us down. The only thing I am glorifying is the right to be fat, happy, sassy and sexy. So, kiss the fattest part of my fat ass.

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