Just say 'No' to a Three Stooges Movie

There's disaster in Japan, Americans still involved in an increasing number of pointless wars in the Middle East, oil still polluting the Gulf of Mexico and idiots in Congress carrying on a culture war as if the economy was no longer a problem.

And what are Hollywood and its bloggers concerned with?

When they're not blathering about whether the Lizard will be the villain in the next Spider-Man movie or who Joseph Gordon-Levitt will play in the next Batman film, the big question is this:

Whether or not Johnny Knoxville will or should play Moe in a Three Stooges movie. And whether Benicio del Toro will be in or out. And Jim Carrey. And Sean Penn.

Glad to see we've got our priorities straight.

Really, I'm mystified by the seemingly constant frenzy online about whether or not the Farrelly brothers' longstanding urge to make a Three Stooges movie will ever get off the ground.

It's toxic-remake mania taken to an extreme. This is not a biopic about the Stooges (which was done for TV in 2000 with Paul Ben-Victor, Evan Handler and Michael Chiklis as Moe, Larry and Curly). This is meant to be a modern Stooges comedy, with contemporary actors doing the kind of slapstick that the Stooges honed to an art over decades.

Never mind that Hollywood is so bankrupt of ideas that it's already remaking dross from the 1980s. Hell, Hollywood remade the 2007 British film Death at a Funeral in 2010.

That's why, when someone blogged last year that Johnny Depp was considering remaking The Incredible Mr. Limpet, people took it seriously. There is no movie too awful to be considered, if someone thinks there's a buck to be made. Hey -- let's do it in 3D!

But making a Three Stooges movie? What's the point?

To prove the Farrelly brothers can do it? That's a little like teaching a dog to dance, isn't it?