Divorce in 2011 is a whole lot different than divorces just a generation ago. Some ten or twenty years ago, divorce meant a never ending war. You fought for the children, the silverware, the couch...eternity. But we've all seen that movie and we've seen how dispiriting life becomes when you're constantly at war with your ex-husband: the kids suffer, the Ex-H suffers, you suffer.
Of course, getting divorced any way you can is probably still better than staying in a bad marriage. Family legend holds that whenever my grandfather would come home late (or when the stray women's evening glove was found in the back seat of the Cadillac) breakfast the next morning was a rather gruesome affair. Eggs were served, or rather laced, with something that then kept my darling, bright-eyed, lady's man of a grandfather in bed for days! He never caught on or maybe he simply thought he deserved it but he was certainly around the house more--for a while any way. And to be honest, theirs was a love affair for life, even if occasionally he got an itch he insisted on scratching. But I've wondered, quite often, just what it was that she mixed in her eggs.
No, today we wouldn't stay in a terrible marriage and we're more likely than not to get along with our exes because it's the right thing to do. We blend new families with old families; we take vacations together, share holidays together, attend the school play all together.
Just because we've evolved though, doesn't mean it's easier to swallow. I mean, it is your ex-husband, probably with someone else in some new life flaunting some reason someone left the marriage. But swallow it we do--even if we chase it with a vodka. Or two.
But every once in a while, when I send my kid off to his father's house to celebrate Dad's birthday with a box of his favorite cookies in hand, I whisper a silent prayer that my child stays on the happy side of the road and wonder how the hell I can wave and smile and say goodbye. And then I wonder, just what was in those eggs? And I think about how brilliant maybe my grandmother really was.
The Divorced Girls
Oats and Chocolate Coconut Chip Chewy cookies
½ pound softened butter or margarine (two sticks)
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
1 ½ teaspoon vanilla
1 ½ cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon salt
3 cups quick or old fashioned oatmeal
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup coconut flakes
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Beat sugars and butter until creamy
Add eggs and vanilla; beat until smooth texture
Add flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt and mix well
Stir in oats and chocolate
Drop by rounded tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheet
Add a sprinkle of shredded coconut flakes to each cookie top
Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown
Cool on cookie sheet