Kickass Spiral Vegetable Tart

Easy. Healthy. Impressive. The best part is hidden under the vegetables -- a kickass blast of flavor!
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Easy. Healthy. Impressive. The best part is hidden under the vegetables -- a kickass blast of flavor!


1 bottle of wine, red or white (whatever the chef wants to drink -- it's not part of the recipe)
2 zucchini
2 summer (yellow) squash
6-8 large carrots
1 pie crust (premade, rolled works fine)
½ cup shredded parmesan cheese
5 garlic cloves
1 red onion
1 yellow onion
1 teaspoon sugar
Salt and pepper
¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil (1 tablespoon to caramelize the onions and one to brush over the top of the tart)
Pound of patience
Pinch of luck



Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Unroll your pre-made pie crust onto the tart pan (with the removeable bottom) or just use whatever you have, such as a pie dish. Push the crust into the sides. Prick holes in 6 or so places.


Bake for 5 minutes or until starting to brown. Remove from oven and sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Set aside.


Mince the garlic and dice the onions. Add 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large skillet on medium heat and when hot, add the garlic, onions, sugar, crushed red peppers, salt and pepper. Stir occasionally until the onions are soft and caramelized. Remove pan from heat and let cool slightly. Then evenly distribute on top of pie crust.


Wash and cut ends off of the zucchini, summer squash and carrots. Cut zucchini lengthwise and scoop out seeds with a spoon. Repeat with summer squash. For zucchini and summer squash, place cut side down and slice into 1/4 inch slices. Slice carrots in a similar fashion but thinner, if possible.


In a pot, boil a few inches of water and add the zucchini slices. Boil gently for 4 minutes. Remove zucchini and lay on a paper towel. Add more paper towels on top and press down gently to absorb moisture. Add summer squash to same water and boil for 4 more minutes. Repeat the paper towel thing. Add sliced carrots to same water and boil for 6 minutes (or until soft enough to bend). Repeat the paper towel thing again.


Start on the outside edge and begin to layer the 3 vegetables going around in a big spiral. Keep the skin side on top. If you haven't poured that glass of wine yet, you may want to do it now.


Keep laying the strips in until you reach the center. It should look something like this.


If you have finished that bottle of wine before the pie is complete, or if you've just had it with the damned vegetables, throw them by the fistful onto the pan. That will look something like this (and it will taste just as good).


Brush lightly with olive oil to bring out the colors. Heat in a 350 degree oven for 10-15 minutes before serving.

And next time, you could try doing a lattice-type weaving of the vegetables instead of a spiral. Or you could just bag the whole thing and eat out.