I just beat cancer. Amazing, right? In December of 2016 I went to the ER with a little stomach ache...and after 2 weeks in the ICU discovered I had a rare cancer...appendiceal. It took over my life for most of 2017. But I beat it. I needed a small army to do it but I’ve done it. One of the very important members of my fight team was Shani Hilton, who every other week gave me back my eyelashes. It may seem trivial but it wasn’t. Turns out Shani is not only a cosmetologist but an aspiring writer. I am proud to share this below, her first installment on her take of BEAUTY AND CANCER. This is the first installment of her series and look out for my own series - coming soon.
“Your grandmother has cancer”.
I hated my mother when she told me this. I had just started Beauty School and the thought that I could lose my grandmother was devastating. Then it occurred to me that I could help her – at least with the beauty part of coping with cancer. After all, as a student of beauty surely I should be able to help Grandma with hair, skin, nails…all of it. Thinking about helping her helped me cope.
I wasn’t prepared for the drama of cancer nor was I prepared for the wide range of emotions Grandma was going to go through. Yes, I could do her hair and style a wig for her but I couldn’t take away the feelings of despair she felt when her hair fell out in clumps. Yes, I could get her nail tips but I couldn’t really make her feel better when her nails just broke and split and then turned black.
Legend tells us that the beauty industry was designed exclusively for the vain, the glamourous, or maybe those who live their lives in the spotlight. We see this played out every day. But this is a $60 billion dollar industry that provides products and services to help everyone look and feel our best. Everyone should mean everyone. For decades the beauty industry has come under scrutiny and criticism for underrepresenting women of color and today it must also respond to the gender-neutral generation of millennials and others. Progress is being made with product innovation for ethnic skin and gender fluidity is being catered to slowly.
But where does that leave my Grandmother and the millions of women who battle cancer. Women – and teenagers – who are struggling for life while also trying to look their best so that they can feel their best. Women don’t stop being women when diagnosed with cancer. It’s long past time for the industry to catch up.
For those suffering from an incomprehensible diagnosis, chemotherapy and radiation only adds a greater challenge. Every woman who is told they have cancer asks herself what will happen if she loses her hair…her eyebrows…her eyelashes. Vanity to one woman is self-esteem to another. I learned firsthand that there is nothing vain or shallow about seeing a woman in tears because her long luxurious locks are falling out in clumps and her eyelashes seem to have just disappeared after her 2nd round of chemotherapy.
The emotional challenges we women face with the inevitable cancer rival even the intellectual understanding of mortality and the physical changes. All too often cancer patients are told to focus primarily on their health and not to worry too much about their outer appearance. Grandma didn’t want to look like she was dying. Who would? I do believe that attitude has so much to do with everything – health, mental wellbeing, beauty – all of it. If looking good helps someone with cancer feel good then we better all get on that train.
That means we have to ask the beauty industry to think smarter. Over 12,000,000 women are diagnosed very year with cancer. The need is clear. As a budding cosmetologist I felt helpless, hopeless and lost. I’d studied all there was about the beauty industry from hairstyling to skincare, only to graduate with absolutely no knowledge on how to provide beauty services for my grandmother battling this horrible disease. Almost every product on the market - haircare, skincare or cosmetics - contains harsh chemicals such as phthalates, which is a known environmental contaminant that has a massive impact on human health. Some eyeshadows contain heavy metals. The list goes on and on.
How does the cosmetics industry regulate the safety of their products?
They don’t! That’s how.
We all need to think of the beauty industry as much more than a skin-deep addiction. For women with cancer, all the cosmetics and “beauty stuff” can make the difference between a woman facing her next chemo session with dignity or shame. Beauty brands should collaborate with Cosmetology schools to provide a mandatory class on learning how to cut, style and color wigs specifically designed for cancer patients. And to take it a step further, beauty brands should first and foremost address the needs and concerns of cancer patients. True representation would involve beauty brands reinforcing the idea of diversity and inclusion, for everyone. Starting but not limiting its resources to education, product development, and marketing to better understand the demographic they influence.
I have decided to be the conductor of this specific beauty train, The one that cares about cancer victims. I’m looking for passengers…tell your stories….tell others…raise awareness. Let’s make beauty safe and accessible for every woman who might be better able to face her next chemo if just she could get the right makeup and hair. We can’t cure cancer but we can make each woman’s journey a little more beautiful. Hop on the train with me!
Shani can be reached at shanihillian@gmail.com or rush to Benefit, 1301 3rd Ave, NY. You too can have gorgeous lashes!