Kids tend to say hilarious and absurd things on a daily basis. But sometimes they make pretty good points that warrant no response other than, “Can’t argue with that!”
Naturally, the funny parents of Twitter have shared some anecdotes that display their children’s reasoning skills. We’ve rounded up 40 tweets with cute, funny and even brilliant examples of kid logic. Enjoy!
“We don’t dry dishes, Mom, that’s air’s job” annoying kid logic that you’re secretly proud of.— Just J (@junejuly12) October 9, 2020
Every time my 3yo doesn’t want to do something she says “no, cuz it’s yucky” and when I give her another option she says “no, cuz it’s too early for it” and I mean, how do you argue with THAT logic?!— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) August 16, 2019
4: mom will you buy me a real reindeer?— 🎄♥️ Marissa 💚🎄 (@michimama75) November 8, 2020
Me: Santa Claus is the only person who can have reindeer
4: .... mom will you buy me a Santa Claus outfit?
Me: sure babe
4: then we can go buy a reindeer because I’ll look like Santa
7-year-old: I don't want mashed potatoes.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2020
Me: They're just like French fries.
7: Then give me French fries.
There's a flaw in her logic, but I can't find it.
My 8yo woke up this morning and said “Artichokes are rude!”, and honestly he is probably right.— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) January 16, 2020
Me: “If you’re done with the game, you need to put the pieces away.”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 5, 2017
4yo: I WAS done, but if I have to clean it then I’m undone.”
Me: Have a good day at school.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 22, 2020
Child: Not possible.
Me: What? Why not?
Child: Hey dad, have a good day at work.
Me: Oh ok I see what you’re saying.
3: I’m a big sister— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 30, 2019
Me: No you’re not sweetie you’re a little sister
3: I’m a big kid now and I’m a sister so I’m a big sister
5: (feeds the cat a treat) Hey, mom? Since the cat got a treat, can I get a treat?— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) April 21, 2017
Our 5yo wrapped a piece of sausage around my finger and called it a “band-aid” so needless to say, he’s my personal physician now.— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) February 28, 2020
Me: Why do you keep dropping things on the floor?!?— HollowTreeVentures (@RobynHTV) March 7, 2014
2yo: Because I let go of them.
I must admit, her argument is pretty solid on this one.
7-year-old: How much cake can I have?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 9, 2020
Me: One piece.
7: Can a whole cake be a piece?
Me: OMG WHAT THE HELL— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 7, 2020
Child: The news said it’s more sanitary to sneeze into an elbow.
Me: THEY MEAN YOUR OWN ELBOW
8: mommy I want to study pastrami— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 28, 2020
Me: why pastrami specifically?
8: I’m just super interested in the stars
Me: astronomy you mean astronomy
8: pretty sure it’s pastrami
Kid logic: don’t need napkins when I have shirt sleeves, or mom’s pant leg, or the cat mistakenly wanders by.— Just J (@junejuly12) October 13, 2018
“You can eat 50% of a mermaid before you’re considered a cannibal.”— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 19, 2020
My kid, using homeschool math during social distancing
My toddler shouted “I NEED A BREAK FROM ALL OF YOU” and then locked himself in his bedroom. When we asked what happened he replied “nothing I’m just being daddy”— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) March 31, 2020
Me: hey stop jumping— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 31, 2019
3: I’m not jumping, I’m hopping
According to my 3yo it's Christmas.— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) December 19, 2019
Because all the chocolates from her Advent calendar are gone.
Because she snuck them into her room and ate them all.
And since I don't have the energy to argue with toddler logic,
Merry Christmas everyone!
7-year-old: I'm done with homework.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 4, 2020
Me: You did it?
7: That's not what I said.
7-year-old: I wish I could see Santa’s naughty kid list.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) December 9, 2019
Me: To see if you’re on it?
7-year-old: To see who I could have the most fun with.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try to get someone else to do it for you by throwing a tantrum.— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 13, 2016
- Toddler Logic
5: (Sees me eating dinner, double-fisting with a glass of wine and water) - Ummm, Mommy, since you have 2 drinks can I at least have 1 glass of chocolate milk?— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) October 12, 2018
I can’t say her logic is flawed. Kid’s gonna be a champ negotiator.
Me: “Why did the wicked stepsisters rip Cinderella’s dress?” My 2 year old: “Because I don’t have any pizza.” Logic: It works.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 7, 2013
Me: You know better than to use that bad word.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 8, 2019
Me: Then why did you?
5: My brain said not to, but my mouth does whatever it wants.
Kid: My sandwich has too much peanut butter on it.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 9, 2019
Me: *makes new sandwich*
Kid: This one has too little.
Me: *makes one just right*
Kid: I don’t like peanut butter anymore.
no one:— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 12, 2019
my 4yo: daddy, does the moon have a job or does it just sit there?
"If dad says yes on the 3,457th time I ask, then it's all worthwhile."— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) May 13, 2015
4-year-old: Why do I have to be the youngest?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2020
Me: Your sisters were born first.
4: They cheated.
“But I’m sick, and I’m staying home from school tomorrow, so I should be able to stay up late”— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 22, 2018
- kid logic
Me: What's the first rule of cooking?— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 13, 2019
4: Don't put your hands in your butt.
Shower Logic for Kids:— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) December 8, 2015
8-Since we showered 2 nights in a row, we should get 2 nights OFF from showering because we're extra clean.
7-year-old: Can I have a snack?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 28, 2019
Me: No, you'll ruin your dinner.
7: I thought that was your job.
4-year-old: Why do we have to wear shoes?— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 7, 2019
Me: They protect your feet.
4: No, they trap your feet. *whispers* They’re feet traps.
5: Mommy, can I have a snack?— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) March 9, 2019
Me: No. It’s 7 o’clock in the morning. We don’t eat snacks before we have our breakfast.
5: Well mommy, it’s not 7 o’clock everywhere. We can have a snack now.
So apparently “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” can be used for kid snack logic too.
4: Mama, I'm not feeling so good.— GorditaSlim (@kahearstee) January 31, 2019
Me: What's wrong baby girl?
4: I haven't had spaghetti for so long my stomach misses it. Listen, *puffs up belly* you can hear my tummy cry.
5yo: *crying* you never let me have any fun— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) June 25, 2019
wife: you were yelling at your sister
5yo: yeah, that’s fun
me: it is pretty fun
9y.o: “Can we watch this movie again?”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 17, 2019
Me: “No- you’ve watched it like every single day!”
9: “Yeah, but you drink coffee every single day & it brings YOU joy, so...”
*Quiet Daddy-daughter screen time on Saturday morning*— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) March 10, 2018
7yo: (watching show on iPad) Daddy, is this too loud for you?
Me: No Sweetheart, but thanks for asking.
7yo: OK. (Pauses) But if it IS too loud, you can just leave the room.#parenting #dadlife #momlife
4-year-old: I have to train for the Power Rangers.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 12, 2019
Me: I don't think they're accepting new members.
4: No. I'm going to beat them.