Kindergarten Crisis

Hey ya’ll. This is a quick story I wrote for a humor writing class. It’s a bit different, but different is what you should all come to expect from me at this point. Enjoy!


On Charlie’s first day of former learning he had an existential crisis. He didn’t know why his mom dressed him in his jean overalls with the rubber ducky on the pocket. He saw another adolescent at his table with overalls that also had a small picture of a bath time duck on it too. He lost his place in the world.

Looking at this Spider-man lunch bucket he took a moment to meditate on his reason for being in kindergarten in this set of overalls with such a menacing ducky. He sat down on the bean bag chair and spoke with his lecturer about how he was perplexed about his place in the world.  She giggled and cooed the same way politicians do when people ask for fair wages.  This was all too much for him.

He looked back at his Spider-man lunch pail and knew that he was the answer to all of human kind’s questions. He marched over to copycat Jordan and the evil sorcerer masquerading as a rubber ducky on his overalls. He tarnished Jordan’s ducky by smearing play-doh on it to cover it up. Jordan wailed out and Charlie knew it was because he’d just trumped malevolence and saved the world. His conscious was clear unlike Jordan’s attire.

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