COMEDY

31 Signs You Grew Up With A Persian Mom

Dooset daram, maamaan. Even though sometimes you're a little crazy. 😂

First, let's set the mood.

  • 1 Your mom had some of the weirdest and most questionable home remedies when you got sick.
  • 2 There was pretty much nothing your mom wouldn't pickle. And don't worry: She'll force you to eat it 20 years later because that's when it's the "eh-tastiest."
  • 3 Your mom's opinion on dating certainly shifted as soon as you became "marriage material."
  • 4 You never ate a meal at home without a giant bowl of maast-o-khiar.

    A photo posted by . (@prnch) on

  • 5 This cookie box charade is probably the reason you have trust issues.
  • 6 This too.
  • 7 There was never a dull moment grocery shopping with her.
  • 8 When your mom packed you lunch for school, it was gourmet Iranian leftovers every time.
  • 9 She found it perfectly normal to eat raw mint, parsley, cilantro and other herbs by the handful.

    A photo posted by Matt Heckert (@guzzimatt) on

  • 10 Your mom never missed a chance to force you to dance.
  • 11 Your mom disciplined you by inventing weird and ridiculous lies to scare you into behaving.
  • 12 Your mom raised you to give three kisses when greeting others, which gets pretty awkward when you're meeting non-Persians.
  • 13 Parties with your mom's Persian side of the family gave you a pretty good idea of what it feels like to have paparazzi.
  • 14 Your mom loves to give speeches about how much better she was than you at your age.
  • 15 Your mom could spend nine years making the perfect khoresht, but all anyone ever cared about was the tadigh.
  • 16 She never had a problem being vulgar.
  • 17 Your mom always gave you shit when your non-Persian friends would forget to take their shoes off at the door.
  • 18 Chocolate and vanilla were NOT the ice cream flavors you grew up with.

    A photo posted by Maham (@maham66) on

  • 19 Your mom may have called you fat, but don't worry, she also made sure you stuffed your face with her cooking.
  • 20 You 100% blame your tardiness on your mom. She took that whole "fashionably late" thing to a whole new extreme.
  • 21 Your mom would spend a lifetime at a party, and right when everyone was finally about to go home, you'd hear "bezar ye chaie bokhoram" and end up staying another five hours.
  • 22 Her idea of décor essentially meant throwing Persian rugs in every single room.
  • 23 Your mom absolutely hated if you ever brought vegetarian friends over for dinner.
  • 24 She called you "jan" or "joon" so much that people actually thought your name was John or June.
  • 25 You learned from a young age that insults and curses in Farsi are the most ludicrous expressions ever.
  • 26 Your mother's version of the bend and snap involves way more intricate snapping than anything Elle Woods was doing.
  • 27 Your mom trained you from a young age to take part in the custom of taarof, but your American friends seriously don't get it.
  • 28 Spending time with your Persian mom could quickly become emotionally draining.
  • 29 Your mother's idea of a refreshing drink always involved doogh. Lots and lots of doogh.
  • 30 It was impossible to leave a party at a reasonable hour because your mom felt the need to say goodbye to each individual person 20 times.
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